destinystrings | 08 - Daddy Issues

Entry tags:

08 - Daddy Issues

Who: Yamato Hotsuin and Daichi Shijima

hetried
Where: Daichi's apartment - Libra District
Summary: After Shura's birthday party. Yamato is drunk. Daichi is his unfortunate victim.
Warnings: Drunk Yamato, probably some cursing, and so much bitterness it's a lake of dark chocolate.

This seemed like a good idea at the time.

Truthfully, Yamato didn't really know if it was a good idea. His vision was a bit unsteady, like he was standing on the bow of a ship on an unsettled sea, and he felt like he was walking on said ship too. He tried to consciously walk in a straight line, but staring at his feet made him dizzy, and looking down the corridor made him feel ill, so the logical leap was to close his eyes and stagger blindly down the hallway. It was a good idea - up until he almost walked into a wall, and then he remembered that, oh, he would need eyesight to know when he reached his goal.

For the life of him, he couldn't recall where his room was. It was in Libra, yes, but he couldn't remember. He could remember where Daichi Shijima's was though, which was strange, but certainly Daichi would know where he lived, and be able to direct him to it.

Or. Something.

He reached Shijima's room in relatively one piece, although he feared he must be in a complete state. His tie was gone (he couldn't remember where), his coat was gone (Shura had it - he hoped), and his shirt was rather rumpled and splotched with damp patches where the snow had melted, with a thin layer of snowflakes clinging to his silvery hair.

He focused intently on Daichi's door, carefully lifting a hand, and knocking very loudly on the door. Yes. Perfect.

Perfectly executed plan.

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The first thing that Yamato could probably hear was a yelp of surprise and a thud.

That was the sound of Daichi waking with a start and completely falling out of his bed.

He was as much of an irresponsible teenager as the last guy, but one typically did note expect banging on your door at the wee hours of the morning when you're trying to sleep. Thankfully the fall had already woken Daichi up into awareness, and so he grabbed his coat off a nearby chair (knowing that it was probably still snowing and he sure didn't want to freeze his ass off), throwing it over his pajamas, and opening the door.

"Uh...Y...Yamato...?"

Things he did not expect to see when he opened his door: this was one of them.

Yamato stared at Daichi as if he was startled by his appearance, and then blinked slowly. It came to him that he should probably try and appear sober, but he had enough sense to know that that ship had long since flown off to the moon.

"Shi-Shijima," Yamato said, stumbling a little over Daichi's name, "I am in dire need of asi-sis...help. I have forgotten the location of my apartment."

"Wha....?"

Well OK, Daichi was actually able to understand him pretty well but...seriously, was he in the Twilight Zone or something? Was this really Yamato, or was someone playing an elaborate hoax on him?

"How did you forget where you live?!"

Wait a minute...what was that smell...? "Are... are you drunk?!"

"I am not drunk, only mildly ineb..."

...

The word was there, floating in his mind, yet for the life of him he could not recall how to pronounce it. Ibritated? Inebrit? Ineb-something??

"I'm not drunk," he repeated.

Even Daichi knew that word and how to pronounce it. It was official.

"Bullshit, you're totally wasted!"

How did this even ha-- no OK, better question. Why the hell was Yamato showing up at his apartment?!

"I think your apartment's two floors up... are you even gonna be able to make it?"

Two floors up...surely the sight of the hallway would stimulate his foggy memory. Yamato nodded - immediately regretting it when his head felt ready to wobble off of his neck from the sharp motion - and pivoted on his heel.

Alas, he did not turn away and stride off dramatically as he usually did. Instead he stumbled, wobbled a little, and then gripped onto Daichi's door frame looking very much like he'd been smacked in the face with a wet fish. Oh.

Oh wow no. No sharp turns.

"...yes," Yamato replied belated, his pride refusing to admit weakness - even though he had just admitted weakness of memory a few moments before.

For a moment Daichi was just sort of...watching him try, and then immediately jumped in panic when the other stumbled. At which point, Daichi quickly rushed to Yamato's side and grabbed his side, throwing one of Yamato's arms over his shoulder to keep the guy stable.

"Yeesh, you gotta be kidding me! I'm amazed you even made it to Libra in one piece!"

He slowly started to turn and guide Yamato back towards his own room, because there way he was gonna make it up two floors like that. Alright, no problem! He could totally handle this. Just get the guy inside before he got frost bite and then, call Kaito or something. Yeah....

Yamato struggled a little at the slight manhandling, then decided it was too much effort and allowed Shijima to lead him back into the apartment, out of the cold. He grumbled quietly in the back of his throat though, adopting a rather grumpy expression.

"Irritable...I forgot that alcohol affects the inner ear...balance off..." mutter mutter mutter...

"Yeah yeah, science or something...."

Daichi didn't actually know the logistics of what being buzzed does to your physical capabilities, only that it made them really really bad.

Whether Yamato was going to try and fight it or not, he brought him back into his apartment, did his best to close the door behind him, and guided Yamato over to the chair that used to be occupied by his coat to help him sit down.

"It is not, 'yeah, yeah, science or something'," Yamato snapped, sounding a bit indignant at Daichi's dismissive attitude. "It is - very important details to understand about the effects of alcohol. They cause myr- many health issues that range from mild to fatal, even being able to- to cause heart attacks or brain an- bleeds."

Aneurysm was too ambitious to pronounce in his state.

Once they were in the apartment, Yamato pulled away from Shijima as the other tried to coax him into the chair, gesturing a little with a gloved hand (drunk to hell and back and he still had those things). "Of course, despite the dangers of such things, society still- still indulges in, such things. Even understanding the, the ill effects of, such things, of, this."

Yeah, Yamato was losing the thread of whatever he was debating about, but he was slowly starting to wind himself up, his ramblings steadily gaining steam...

OK, he couldn't help but snicker at that. "Brain bleeds?" Sorry, but drunk people were funny!

Meanwhile, Daichi's just mentally preparing because oh boy, Yamato was going to go into long-winded mode, and that could only be a disaster or hilarious when the guy was drunk. Maybe it was better to just let him get it out of his system...

"Yeah, you're one to talk. You're not even 20 yet and you're hitting the bottle." Said jokingly of course, as he yawns and makes for...wherever he put the COMP geez where did he put it...

"It was- for a special occasion, apparently. I was unaware of the alcohol percen- percentage of- I don't have to explain myself," Yamato interrupted himself, gesturing a bit sharply at that. "To damage myself in such indulgences is nothing short of irresponsible, although-"

Before, Yamato's mood had been relatively neutral - but now it was taking an abrupt dive into the rocks. Mood swing!

"Although not that it has any bearings on anything of value anymore. I could drink myself to a- a stupor every night and it wouldn't matter."

Uh oh. What is happening.

Daichi had just been sort of quietly chuckling to himself while looking for his COMP at Yamato's hilarious state-- and he had every intention of just letting the guy talk and probably waiting for him to pass out-- but the mood swing was a bit...concerning? Did drunk people normally spin around on a dime like that?

"Huh? What are you talking about?" He interrupted his quest for electronics to question him. "I'm pretty sure you'd wreck your liver pretty bad if you did that.

Edited 2012-11-27 07:30 (UTC)

Yamato let out a derisive snort, his expression darkening even more. "Well, consid- considering my liver was severely 'wrecked' beneath Tsuutenkaku - the stay here is not permanent, so of course, when the inevitable occurs, I'd just go back to - that place, and none of this would have mattered. Like everything in my life, feh."

We're beginning to enter Yamato's Pent Up Bitterness Hour. I hope you will enjoy your stay Daichi.

Wow he almost physically winced at that, that was harsh for way more reasons than one.

"Wha-- come on, don't talk like that! Just because that was one weird reality doesn't mean you have to go back home and die again! Besides, you were the commander of an national organization!" He was preeetty sure that was in the column of 'Things That Mattered.'

Yamato barked out a series of harsh laughs, waving one hand as if swatting aside Daichi's words.

"Mrm. Do you want to know a secret, Shijima? I was only commander of, of JP's, because of the very thing I loathed. Connections and bloodlines, and all of that- that crap," Yamato started to pace now, a bit wobbly but he managed to keep his balance. "If, it was what I had wanted, the- the world of meritocracy, I wouldn't be JP's commander, because of- well, I only had that position because I was the male heir, so she never- never mind."

He stopped. "I recognise the hypocr- hyp-o-crisy of my actions, but that wasn't what I meant. I was, unable to become JP's commander on my own merits, I was unable to achieve my own dreams, and if it was possible no one will want anything to do with me. That, that is what I meant by nothing mattering."

Well OK... there was probably a part of Daichi that had been a bit suspicious of Yamato's meritocracy simply because he had made such a big deal about the Hotsuin family, but given how Yamato was feeling now, he felt a bit bad thinking that now.

(Another part of him idly wondered what he meant by 'male heir' exactly, but now wasn't the time to bring that up.)

"Hey, that's not true! Being the leader of JP's isn't the end-all of the world, and it seemed like your family did a pretty good job getting you ready..."

...Why was he trying to reason with a drunk person again.

Better plan-- quickly stand up to make sure Yamato didn't fall in all of his pacing. Which is thankfully, exactly what Daichi did.

Yamato shook his head as if Daichi didn't get the point. "No, it - the specific role was to fulfil a certain position. Beyond that there was no other purpose. It is, as they say..."

Yamato was rapidly beginning to lose coherency at this point, and he decided that shaking one's head was probably the worse thing to do, because it felt like his head was going to wobble right off his shoulders. He pressed a hand against his forehead, rubbing it as his eyebrows furrowed.

"Nothing in my life except this was my own choice, just the Hotsuin, and- only he would encourage aut-the autonomy... but that was just his usual way of manip- luring, like he's done to you and Kaito..."

"Huh? Are you, talking about Saiduq?" It was getting a bit harder to decipher Yamato's drunken slurring, but he was about 80% sure that that's what Yamato had been referring to.

"Dude, you need to stop dwelling on this stuff--! And uh...moving. You're not looking too good, you know..." Not dwelling on things hahaha Daichi you hypocrite.

"Stop dwelling on it?"

Yamato lowered his hand to give Daichi an incredulous stare. Did - did he honestly think that it was something Yamato could simply forget? Forgive and forget, it was no big deal- no it was a very big deal! Yamato refused to forget and have Alcor swan about with Kaito's loyalty as if he had done no wrong...!

"Do you- do you have any idea what he has done? I am not going to- to 'stop dwelling on it'! I hate how, how you and- him think he's some innocent little- he hasn't- that- fucking-" Yamato was beginning to wind up into 'maniacal rant mode' now. This may be horribly familiar, Daichi.

~~let the bitterness flood begin~~

Somehow, Yamato's anger and staring was even more scary when the guy was wasted. It was like a pure disdain the permeated even the realms of his current senses.

Yamato no doubt had no memory of this kind of speech, but to Daichi it was indeed creepily familiar. Just like the tirade he had gone on when they faced him on their way to Polaris-- just before Yamato had died, if he remembered correctly. His hands were already up in front of himself a bit defensively.

"Well, yeah... he's a Septentrione, isn't he? I think you called him 'Alcor' before... I mean, that probably doesn't mean anything good, but does it really matter now?"

Yamato laughed.

It was a sad little thing, borderline disturbing, really, and he slowly sat on the edge of Daichi's bed because okay, wow, walking was increasingly becoming a bad idea.

Did it really matter now? A large chunk of Yamato screamed 'yes, yes it did!' even if he couldn't arrange his scattered thoughts in a coherent manner to say why exactly. What exactly drove him into emotions of extreme contempt? What made him feel like there was a building pressure somewhere in his stomach that threatened to explode? What made the box where he stuffed everything down fit to bursting?

alcoralcoralcoraclor

Yamato rubbed his hand against his forehead, trying to marshal his increasingly erratic thoughts. "It sickens me..." he muttered, the anger bleeding out of his voice and leaving it very hollow sounding, "how easily he latched onto his new 'Shining One'... simply because I didn't...I did something wrong..."

But how...? He did exactly as Alcor preached. Find his own purpose, make his own decisions, control his future, exercise his free will - and as soon as Yamato made his choice for once, something separate from the Hotsuin family and thoroughly and utterly selfish - it was wrong? He hadn't conformed to what Alcor wanted, that was it - that, that monster had tried to lead him towards something, and it didn't stick, so he went to Kaito instead, and lured and manipulated him into putting him on the throne...

Edited 2012-12-16 01:25 (UTC)

Daichi would've been more weirded out by Yamato deciding to sit on his bed, if he wasn't so spooked by that laugh that he let out. He wasn't entirely sure what that was, but all signs pointed to it being no good at all.

"Wha...?" Well this was knew. Daichi knew Saiduq had history with the Hotsuin family, but he wasn't sure he'd ever caught the whole story. At least, not from Yamato's point of view. Though he could be pretty sure the 'did something wrong' part miiiight have had something to do with the meritocracy fanaticism.

"H-Hey, come on. I'm sure it wasn't that bad. He didn't totally abandon you...!"

Yamato went eerily still before his head rose up, pinning Daichi down with a narrowed look of cold fury.

"Abandon- do you even know what that word means, Shijima?" he hissed, slowly rising to his feet again. He wobbled a little, but it seemed like sheer rage was keeping him standing a little. "I don't think you do because he did exactly that! He abandoned me! After, after saying that I could control my own- my own destiny, future! After being the only one who would look at me and see something more than a tool, after saying- saying that I could- he left me for years! Only to come back and reject- disapprove when I told him what I finally decided to do - when I finally - did as he told me to- because in the end, in the end I was nothing but a tool to him as well! Does that not count as complete and utter abandonment?!"

At the borderline death glare, Daichi started backing the hell up; he wasn't really sure what was completely going through Yamato's head right now, but he was fairly positive that if Yamato hadn't been wasted, then the guy might've tried to stab him had he had a knife handy.

"Wha-- you're not a tool!" Hearing that come from the leader of an organization was weird in its own right, but, it must have been family issues...? "C-Calm down! Disapproving isn't abandonment--!!"

But the floodgates were open and Yamato seemed deaf to Daichi's panicked voice, lifting his hands up to clutch at his hair, bowing his head down slightly as if overcome.

"He even tried to kill me! Why- why would he not do that, if because I didn't act within what- what he needed? Complete disapproval of my dreams, to the point of eliminating me - even Kaito-"

It was like a horrible realisation that everyone Yamato placed his trust in always ended up betraying him in some horrible way. Hahaha- it even ended in his death! Although that was because even 'til the end, Yamato had - there was no way he would allow Kaito to be killed, even if he had joined such a disgusting ideal...

"Hey, calm down!"

He at least stopped backing up, and even dared take a step forward out of concern. He knew this wasn't the whole story, Saiduq had told him his own side too but-- reasoning with him right now was no doubt impossible. And would Yamato even remember it in the morning if he did?

...Then again, Yamato probably wouldn't even listen to him when he was sober, sooo...

"Look, I don't know what happened in your universe, but from where I came from, Saiduq didn't try to kill you on purpose! Actually, I think he was pretty beat up about it! Kaito didn't want you to die either, none of us did! Y-You just kind of...lost it...!

"Lost it? What're you-?"

That seemed to startle Yamato somewhat out of his drunken spiral into utter hysteria. He raked his fingers through his hair, seemingly calming down slightly as he took a deep breath.

"I am...talking about Sapporo..." he said, his shoulders twitching in agitation. "He tried to kill me- by trapping me there - ahahah, he is a very, ruthless creature, at times..."

He sat back down on the edge of Daichi's bed, pressing a hand against his forehead - he felt woozy after all of that high emotion - and muttered something low and unintelligible under his breath.

Well damnit. He couldn't exactly talk about a situation he had never actually experienced, but given the past and context, he's fairly certain that Yamato's viewpoint is a bit warped.

Augh, he was basically fighting a losing battle at this point.

Daichi walked back over to Yamato, setting a hand on his shoulder to make sure the guy didn't fall off the bed. "You're getting yourself worked up over nothing at this point. If you don't calm down you might just make yourself sick..."

More warped than a Twizzler.

Yamato acknowledged Daichi's words as sensible, and he heaved a great sigh, dropping his hand from his forehead. All that ranting and raving - it did leave him with a sour taste in his mouth, and that pleasant high the alcohol had given him had twisted into an uncomfortable, hot sensation that left him feeling like he had caught a bad bout of flu.

"I just wish he'd vanish," Yamato muttered, "He mocks me with his sheer presence."

Just knowing Alcor was existing within the same city as him made his hackles rise. Although no matter how much he detested him at that moment, he couldn't bring himself to wish death on him. Just - for him to perhaps exist in a different dimension, or on the furthest side of the globe, or, something.

"I don't know how much you're gonna listen to me, but...I mean, I've talked to Saiduq before, and I don't think he's trying to at least."

Nevertheless, he released Yamato's shoulder and gestured to the bed. "C'mon-- you can stay here tonight if you want so you don't kill yourself on the stairs."

Daichi had barely finished before Yamato tipped sideways, lying down on the edge of the bed without a word of protest. He felt foolish and ridiculous now, and he couldn't even remember what he had been ranting about for the past half hour. Alcor and...something, whatever.

However, while they were still on the topic of Alcor...

"He'll lure you in, and leave you behind, you know," he muttered, burying his face into his arm as he lied there.

Well that was...sort...of easy? Yamato was still awake, but it seemed like he was running out of steam at least.

"Yeah, I'm sure," He replied half-heartedly, only barely hearing what Yamato had said and only barely paying attention when he answered. For now, he had moved away from his bed and to the closet. Seeing as now Daichi had to figure out how he'd sleep, since Yamato had occupied his bed.

"Idiotic, airheaded, traitorous, star," Yamato grumbled petulantly into his arm, having indeed ran out of steam, but still holding a few foul words for Alcor. He would never pass up on a chance to insult him. He deserved it and Yamato was well within his rights too!

Yamato just ignored how childish this grudge of his was.

He should probably roll away from the edge of the bed though. He was in massive danger of rolling off at any second. With a grunt, he slowly rolled over until he was more on the bed, and facing away from Daichi, curling up into a little ball.

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08 - Daddy Issues

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and here is gets paranoid parrot levels

squawk

OH DEAR GOD

literal distressed bird noises

gross laughter

cries a lot

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