(Seriously, it's like a cat getting murdered while playing the oboe.)

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

Who: Guybrush Threepwood, OPEN
Where: Virgo District
Summary: Guybrush is sporting an odd fashion accessory today. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Warnings: There's a monkey in your pocket and it's stealing all your change.
The pirate Guybrush Threepwood -- and he IS, in fact, a pirate, even if it is hard to believe at, well, pretty much any time of the week -- has always managed to accrue a few stares whenever he goes out, primarily because he appears to be a grown man who's still going out in his favorite pirate costume every single day. Today, however, he's getting even more odd looks than usual as he goes about doing his grocery shopping, something which is not lost on him.

The piece of tape over his mouth might have something to do with it.

He's clearly not happy about it, going about his business with a sullen look. He's got a pad of paper and a pencil, thankfully, but one wonders exactly why he's out and about like this in the first place. Unless... the recent nanomachine malfunctions have something to do with it? Who knows.

Comments

[echo_of_a_jedi]

...The Exile is trying to analyze this situation, but she can't figure it out. At least he was paying for things this time. She herself has a grocery cart filled mostly with instant foods and a curious look on her face.

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

Staring is rude, ma'am. He looks at her with a slightly irritated expression before writing something down on the pad of paper.

Can I help you?

[echo_of_a_jedi]

"...is there a reason you're gagged, or should I be rescuing you?" she asked, equally nonplussed.

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

He sighs, and fumbles in his pockets for a bit before pulling out a stack of flyers with a rubber band around them. He pulls one out and hands it to her; reading it reveals the following:

To whom it may concern:

Until the situation with people breaking out into song resolves, please do not make any effort to pull the tape off this man's mouth. Furthermore, if seen attempting to remove it himself, kindly intercept him before he does. I assure you that this is the best for everybody and anybody within earshot of this man.

- Elaine Marley-Threepwood

Apparently the culprit anticipated this question well in advance.

[echo_of_a_jedi]

Well, after some careful reading of that...

"Ah, you're married. It makes perfect sense now."

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

He sighs and shrugs. When his Plunderbunny has an idea set in her mind, there's very little he can do to dissuade her. He doesn't think he's THAT bad of a singer.

He turns back to his shopping, checking over some list or other.

[echo_of_a_jedi]

"If it's not too much trouble to write it out, what are you looking for?" she asked, feeling like being helpful. "Or you could think about it really hard, but I can't really read thoughts so much as intent..."

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

*He begins writing out what he needs. Halfway through, he looks boggled, crosses something out, and keeps writing. He looks oddly frustrated at one point before an obvious light bulb goes off in his head. Finally, he shows her the list. It's... oddly rhythmic.*

I've got to get:
bread
eggs
grapes
OJ
TP
some toothpaste
deodorant

Chips
peas
corn
cheese
porn ?!
Spaghetti-O's
salt
cups
Sprite (2-LITER)
bleach

...uhh... yogurt
Oreos
jager
Cheerios

what am i forgetting
What am I forgetting?
WHAT AM I FORGETTING?!

Oh yeah... grog!

*What an... odd list for a guy like Guybrush.*

thanks for the laugh. I'm already enjoying your Guybrush. ♥

[poorlittleblueburdie]

While going through the aisles looking for items, he might happen to notice a very peculiar-looking demon also doing some shopping. Blue skin, a pretty face between ears about a foot long each, hands with two fingers and a thumb, tipped with big black nails, neatly manicured... oh, and wings. Huge, black, feathered wings. They looked civilized enough, hair neatly pulled back into a tight little ponytail, wearing a soft green robe of some sort over muted purple clothes, frowning thoughtfully at the ingredients list on a round pint tub of vanilla ice cream... but their shopping list seemed to be about as odd as the one Guybrush had.

The shopping basket they held had, so far, several soup-from-the-deli type containers in which a nearly-black red liquid sloshed gently, several bottles of colorful flavored syrups like one would make Italian sodas from, or flavor coffee with, some small bottles of flavor extracts and some little containers of various spices from the baking aisle, a little package of butterscotch pudding cups, a bottle of chocolate syrup, a bag of assorted lollipops, candy canes, a small bottle of honey....

And now they seemed to be pondering ice cream, whistling softly to themselves under their breath.

No, no... whistling was inaccurate. Their lips weren't pulled into the little "o" shape that whistling normally required; they were closed. But it wasn't the sound of humming, either, some low, melodic burble. Given the angel-elf-bird-thing's appearance, cooing seemed like an appropriate enough thing to call it.

And they might not have actually been a demon, either. Since when did those seem so incredibly fascinated with a simple container of ice cream, as though it was a foreign substance, while out grocery shopping? Did demons go grocery-shopping? ...At this time of day?

They didn't look away from the little container of dessert as they slowly turned, taking it away from its section, and stepped out from the aisle. Whether, in their rather thorough distraction, they walked into Guybrush's path, or into him, you the next moment or so would decide.

Ta mate, he's one of my oldest characters. :3

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

The answer, naturally, is "into him," because this is Guybrush we're talking about and he never gets the most elegant answer to these sorts of situations. At least with the tape over his mouth, he's not obligated to speak FIRST. On the other hand, he can't tell anybody he landed on his keys. Again.

Ditto this burdie. Hooray for long-lived muses? :D

[poorlittleblueburdie]

It wasn't that they were moving all that quickly, but with how they stepped right into the other guy's space, and their timing, complicated by the balance of the moving poses in question, their trajectories, the shape of the bird-person's foot, gravity, the phase of the moon, whether or not woodchucks chucked wood, the color yellow, and luck, of which at least the winged one of these two had plenty, though not always usually of the sort they wanted....

Well, suffice to say, there have been more graceful moments in history than this one.

The soft cooing sound was rather swiftly interrupted as they fell, by a thankfully half-strangled sounding birdish cry, something like a little screep. It wouldn't have sounded too out of place from a parakeet's cry of surprise, but at least it was rather muffled and didn't really get to be a thing as the other quickly sucked that breath in again, as they fell. Those huge wings did come into it, during the trip down, with a few half-open flaps in an attempt to save their person's balance... which mostly failed, but they might've at least been the reason Guybrush wasn't landed on? Small mercies?

Avitus seemed to need half a second after having landed there on the floor to realize that he hadn't crashed face-first or something, and that although he'd dropped the ice cream and shopping basket, the basket was now on the floor beside him, and the ice cream was not splattered all over them both. It was actually somehow in the basket, not that he noticed that detail just yet. Wing feathers thoroughly floofed now, he unsteadily started to stand back up, looking to the pirate.

"A-are you all right?" He offered a hand to the other. A hand with only two fingers and a thumb, and rather large nails that looked more like filed-down talons than anything a human might have, but that was definitely an offer of help getting back up, from one rattled... whatever the heck this teenager guy girl blue person here was. "I'm so sorry...!"

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

This is hardly the first time he's run into someone whose gender fell firmly into the question mark category on the census. Granted, the Vaycaylians were less blue (marginally) and wingy (decidedly) but whatever. He shrugs, looking sheepish, and eyes the hand carefully before gingerly putting his in it. Preferably to reduce the potential for severed arteries.

[poorlittleblueburdie]

Birdish they were, but those talons were filed down more than just to take away the pointy tips. They were actually rather... soft, however the burd did it. And said burd might've looked like a skinny teenager in build, but there must've been a bit of muscle hidden under those loose robes, because they actually didn't seem to have as much trouble helping the poor pirate up as one might have suspected.

No artery severing going on here today, just... teh awkward, apparently. Much of that. The burd was so sheepish over the whole thing. And that was totally a bit of purple-hued blush on those blue cheeks too now.

"I--" Pause. ....was that tape over the human's mouth?

"....."

All right, not sure what to say now. Words are not coming out for a moment, just... staring at that. "You... um.....?" A glance up to meet his look, and then back to staring at the tape a sec. This is a little baffling, sorry.

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

He sighs. Ohhhhh boy. He rifles through his inventory (you're not sure, but you SWEAR it's in his pants) before pulling out a flier and handing it over. This is going to be VERY old before this situation resolves itself.

[poorlittleblueburdie]

Reading it silently, then looking back up to the pirate again. Looking back to the note... and then back up at the pirate.

"Honestly, that sounds like something my brothers did to one of us when--" Stopping there, for a second, sighs... a hint of a sad smile. "He was driving everyone out of their minds with constant birdsong sounds. I--"

Paaaaause. That smile's dropping into a confused look.

"....wait, there's something going on that's making people sing a lot?" Eyeing you now, mister Pirate, sir. Looks like the burdie's caught on to an idea here....

Oops, sorry, I have a tendency to drop tags if I don't have access to Outlook.

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

If he nodded any harder, his head would come off. Unless he were a bobblehead. You're pretty sure he's not a bobblehead. He looks a little indignant, though, as if he feels like his singing isn't THAT bad, geez.

[echo_of_a_jedi]

[Couldn't think of another rhyme for corn, huh?]

You need a hand carrying all that...?

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

*More like it's more hilarious he felt some weird compulsion to write that in the first place. Then again, it's a hard word to rhyme.

He shakes his head, then flexes a nonexistent muscle. Apparently, he feels if nothing else, he can as a Mighty Pirate (tm) carry his own groceries. It helps he has a nigh infinite inventory, of course.*