destinystrings | Let Sleeping Dragons Lie

Entry tags:

Let Sleeping Dragons Lie

Who: Daichi Shijima (

hetried) and Yamato Hotsuin (

drakenguard)
Where: Libra District, Yamato's Apartment
Summary: Daichi gives a full-hearted attempt at giving Yamato a long-overdue talk about his Daddy Problems.
Warnings: Yamato's Everything

OK, Daichi wasn't exactly the most...er, stand-up or assertive guy? Usually he tried to stay out of people's problems unless he could help! And helping was really only limited to kicking some Demon Ass most of the time. When it came to Yamato, or Saiduq, (or hey even Miyako while we're at it), he literally had no idea what he was doing.

This was basically an issue that he would feel more comfortable leaving to Kaito, but-- Kaito...probably wasn't the best to talk to Yamato about it? After the fiasco he heard about around Christmas and all that, and...yeah. Besides, Daichi had been the one to see Yamato's drunken breakdown and everything.

Originally he thought maybe he'd bring it up around when Miyako came back; he'd have loved to just leave it alone forever and pretend it never happened, but that was quickly becoming Not The best Idea. But Yamato had disappeared for a month, and it was only now that he had come back to-- er, time to man up! In a, certain way of speaking.

He stood outside Yamato's apartment for a moment, second-guessing himself for probably the 127th time today, before taking a gulp, a deep breath, and knocking on the door.

Hoo boy. Here we go.

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Come on, if you couldn't talk to your twin about your feelings, then what else was there?!

"Don't you think you're being a bit defensive? I mean, you're the one that always ends up yelling and getting angry..."

"My emotional responses are logical for the situation at the time," Yamato said coldly, very clearly trying to shut down this conversation as quickly as possible.

Although that was such a bold-faced lie even Yamato nearly grimaced at it. His 'emotional responses' were downright shameful, no matter how much history he and Alcor had together. A leader was to be cold and collected, above such lapses of control... and instead he broke down into angry, wild fits that he couldn't prevent. Shameful, shameful, shameful!

"Aren't you the guy who would say that emotions aren't logical?"

Seriously bro, you know that you're bad at lying when Daichi can call you out on something just like that. He was grimacing himself, actually, but it was more wry and bracing for impact that anything else.

"..."

Yamato was beginning to dislike Shijima-with-a-backbone. Normally he was quelled with a harsh glare or a few shard words, but here he was standing up to him, and demanding things that no one had any right to know. Tch...

"Why does it even matter?!" he finally snapped, his frustration suddenly erupting. It was a miracle he had managed to keep his temper for so long, considering the subject matter, but, he was sick of Alcor! He had enough of him in his own world, he had enough of him in Hinoto-Ri, he had enough of him with that creature taunting him about it, and he was quite fed up with Shijima pressing him on it!

Uh oh. Maybe he should have stopped while he was ahead.

"C-Calm down-!" His hand's came up a bit as if to hold a defensive position, but they didn't get much higher than the lower half of his torso as Daichi took a step back. He couldn't be looking like he was ready for a fight if he was trying to reason with him.

"I'm just trying to help you! It's not even about Saiduq, it's about you being so angry about it! It's not healthy!"

"Do you think I don't know that?! It's not something easily-!" Yamato made a frustrated noise and abruptly turned away in a near violent movement, keeping his back to Daichi as he tried to push everything back down. Feh...hahaha! Even Shijima was noting his weakness! Yamato was overcome with a strange urge to laugh, but he had a suspicion that if he did, he wouldn't stop, and he didn't exactly wish to lose his wits in front of Shijima of all people.

He just wanted to be alone. He just wanted to do nothing until he stopped feeling things again. Why did people keep insisting on disrupting that? Confronting these things, they would do nothing but serve to humiliate himself. As if he already wasn't acting like a disgusting weakling, but...

He was surprised-- for a moment, he just...watched Yamato's back curiously, wondering if he was going to do something.

"Yamato...?"

His frowned deepened, and he took a half step closer as he lowered his arms back to his side.

"I know whatever you're going through probably isn't easy-- I don't even have any idea what that is exactly. But you're not in this alone, you know--! You have Miyako now, and you still have me and Kaito, plus that Hitoshura girl, and Ideo too. We just want to help."

"...why..."

Yamato didn't understand.

He...

He really didn't understand it. He had been told, multiple times, that emotions were something that distracted you from your main purpose. You could rely only on your own power, your own strength. As Chief of JP's, you were both a leader and a servant. You led disposable pawns to their deaths and sacrifice, all for a Greater Purpose, while you yourself were just as disposable. Every Hotsuin died for Japan. Every Hotsuin died for their duty.

That's what happened to his parents, apparently. Yamato didn't even remember them. He had only been four when they passed. Died during duty. A good death. They fulfilled their purpose. Too weak to survive the ordeal though.

All they got was two sentences in the Hotsuin record. That was it. That had probably been Yamato's fate back in his world as well. He died. A sentence. 'Yamato Hotsuin died failing to bring a world of meritocracy.' Failed.

He wasn't sure where his thoughts were spiralling to, but he wondered why on earth Shijima was saying such things. Help him? He was to help himself, be above help, be able to control himself, be able to lead even with the world crashing down around them.

"Everyone is weak in some way, Hotsuin. Everyone needs help."

Ronaldo's words haunted him even now, ahah. Weakness, yes, Yamato was weak. He was unworthy of the name Hotsuin, he was... why would people want to...

"W...Why?"

He squinted, straining his ears to hear the question properly. 'Why...?' Well, he...didn't really know how to answer that? Why? Why not?

"What do you mean why?" Hell, he barely understood the question. Daichi was just a normal high school student with two parents and a best friend who lived in next door. The whole Hotsuin family, well, he couldn't even understand that. Maybe he was a bit of a bleeding heart, but-- did they need a reason to care?

"Exactly that: why would you want to?"

Yamato's voice was a bit stronger this time, a bit calmer too - although it was a empty sort of calmness. He was still keeping his back to Shijima, because he wasn't quite certain he could keep his expression straight if he looked at the other. He had a direction in his scattered thoughts now though.

Why would Shijima want to help him? Why would anyone want to, if only for...

"We're not friends. You will gain nothing from it. Is it just pity?"

A quizzical expression came to us face, even if Yamato couldn't see it.

"Huh? Of course we are." His tone was almost incredulous, though not quite to that magnitude. "I mean, I know you probably don't think so, but you did kind of save us during the invasion. You don't just go through a whole week like that without becoming some kind of comrades."

He rubbed the back of his neck, looking up and into space as he continued. "I guess it's probably just me, but... Come on, you know me. I'm not really the best at trying to get what I want out of people."

"You're an idiot."

It wasn't said maliciously or harshly or anything. In fact, Yamato sounded weary, lifting a hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose. Honestly... Shijima was an idiot. Yamato couldn't understand him no matter how much he tried. Friends? Fine, whatever, if Shijima wanted to view him like that, he could. Yamato didn't have the energy to correct him.

However... now that the initial instability of his anger had passed, Yamato realised that Shijima spoke the truth. He did need to get a handle on his shameful behaviour somehow. Lapsing into a rabid sort of fury, being so weak to it that it could be used against him like a weapon... no, Yamato needed to iron out that weakness, cut it out like an infection if he had to.

But how? Shijima said people would help him, but he didn't particularly feel comfortable in exposing his soft underbelly to them. Not Shijima, not Kaito, not Hitoshura, not- Ideo. He felt ashamed. He wanted to be empty again.

Oddly enough, Daichi let out a light-hearted chuckle, atmosphere of the current room be damned.

"Tell me something I don't know." And he was pretty cheerful about it!

"But that doesn't mean I can't at least try to help as much as I can. Someone's gotta be an idiot if you're too busy thinking about astrophysics."

That teased a wry snort from Yamato, and his shoulders relaxed a fraction.

"...you're right," he said quietly. He didn't clarify what Daichi was right about though. He felt that it was obvious, and it was taking a bit of effort for him to even admit this aloud. He was frank in his failings normally - inability to connect with people, lack of compassion, widely disliked... but this was a different thing to admit weakness in, and it was greatly discomforting to say.

...but he felt a bit lighter as well.

Another time, he would gloat over the fact that he actually got Yamato to admit that Daichi was right. But, thankfully he actually had some sense of gravity and appropriate timing. Maybe later.

"So then let me help out every now and then, OK?" The concession did broaden his smile, however. "You don't have to do anything now-- or tell me anything else for that matter. Heh, actually, you'd probably prefer it if I left right now, right?"

And another small laugh at his own self-deprecation. "But let me know if you do want to!"

"Hm."

Yamato finally turned back to Daichi, although his gaze was fixed on his door. Shijima was a confusing person to him at times - his competence and courage fluctuated wildly, and now this offer to help even if... Yamato didn't get it.

"Yes, I would prefer it if you left now. I want to think by myself."

"I figured," He said whole-heartedly, now much more willing to vacate the premises than if Yamato had tried to force him to earlier.

"I'll let you, then," And with that, he started making his way for the door, opening it on his own this time. "I'll talk to you later, alright? And try to eat something besides takoyaki for once, hehehe."

"There is nothing wrong in living off of takoyaki," Yamato grumbled quietly, glancing at Daichi with an unimpressed look. "But yes, goodbye."

Hey, he actually said goodbye!

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Let Sleeping Dragons Lie

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