He had never liked to talk about the fire either. Aki brought it up far more than he did. Even then, it wasn't often, though he knew they both thought about it more than the either of them would care to admit, given that they were both walking hypocrites. Aki always had a hard time letting go of the fact that he hadn't been able to do anything, because hadn't been strong enough, or fast enough.
And it's just as hard now, seeing her here, all alive and grown up in front of him, because it gives Shinjiro a glimpse at the life that she could have lived had she gotten the chance to.
Every now and then Shinjiro imagines how terrified she must have been inside the orphanag that day (just as he's sure Aki does), alone, surrounded by yards of unforgiving flame and burning smoke, trapped with nowhere to go, probably believing all that time that someone was going to break down that door and rescue her. And why wouldn't she? Little kids believed in people, and didn't live each day thinking that they might die. Miki had certainly believed in the two of them, put her hope and trust in two kids who never came to her rescue in the end. They had just left her alone to die, even though they hadn't wanted to. Even if there was no blame to place, it still hurt. And even now, he hopes she didn't have to be scared for very long.
He's not sure how much he believes in God. There's an odd dichotomy between what he believes and what he doesn't, and what he inwardly wants to believe, because believing in those things makes the world easier to live in. But he hopes that if there is a God, that He had the goddamn mercy to take her away before the fire could so much as touch her. It was the least an omnipotent god could do for an innocent little girl who hadn't done a single thing wrong.
But if this Miki survived, something about what happened that day had to have changed, and hearing Miki trail off like that makes him come to a pretty simple conclusion. It's an easy conclusion to imagine—it's not hard at all for him to envision it. He had been right beside Aki that night. If Aki hadn't been so young, no one in entire damn world would have been able to stop Aki from running into the orphanage. Not even him. Perhaps Shinjiro's wrong, but after hearing the subtle difference in the Arisatos' circumstances (one survived while the other did not), it's easy to replace one person with another. Like death was the world's universal balancing tool. A life for a life.
So the idiot had gotten his chance. Though he hopes that everything else Miki may very well be implying is wrong. Because that idiot.
no subject
He had never liked to talk about the fire either. Aki brought it up far more than he did. Even then, it wasn't often, though he knew they both thought about it more than the either of them would care to admit, given that they were both walking hypocrites. Aki always had a hard time letting go of the fact that he hadn't been able to do anything, because hadn't been strong enough, or fast enough.
And it's just as hard now, seeing her here, all alive and grown up in front of him, because it gives Shinjiro a glimpse at the life that she could have lived had she gotten the chance to.
Every now and then Shinjiro imagines how terrified she must have been inside the orphanag that day (just as he's sure Aki does), alone, surrounded by yards of unforgiving flame and burning smoke, trapped with nowhere to go, probably believing all that time that someone was going to break down that door and rescue her. And why wouldn't she? Little kids believed in people, and didn't live each day thinking that they might die. Miki had certainly believed in the two of them, put her hope and trust in two kids who never came to her rescue in the end. They had just left her alone to die, even though they hadn't wanted to. Even if there was no blame to place, it still hurt. And even now, he hopes she didn't have to be scared for very long.
He's not sure how much he believes in God. There's an odd dichotomy between what he believes and what he doesn't, and what he inwardly wants to believe, because believing in those things makes the world easier to live in. But he hopes that if there is a God, that He had the goddamn mercy to take her away before the fire could so much as touch her. It was the least an omnipotent god could do for an innocent little girl who hadn't done a single thing wrong.
But if this Miki survived, something about what happened that day had to have changed, and hearing Miki trail off like that makes him come to a pretty simple conclusion. It's an easy conclusion to imagine—it's not hard at all for him to envision it. He had been right beside Aki that night. If Aki hadn't been so young, no one in entire damn world would have been able to stop Aki from running into the orphanage. Not even him. Perhaps Shinjiro's wrong, but after hearing the subtle difference in the Arisatos' circumstances (one survived while the other did not), it's easy to replace one person with another. Like death was the world's universal balancing tool. A life for a life.
So the idiot had gotten his chance. Though he hopes that everything else Miki may very well be implying is wrong. Because that idiot.
"So Aki died then?"