[Closed] Oh, I've seen fire and I've seen rain

[themortalhalf]

Who: Shinjiro Aragaki (themortalhalf) and Miki Sanada (helenchanted) and Akihiko Sanada (risetocaesar).
Minor appearances by Minako Arisato (greatseal) and Minato Arisato (fools_journey)
Where: Shinjiro's Apartment (Libra 7-06)
Summary: The orphan trio has a lot of catching up to do. Continued from here.
Warnings: Some possible language on Shinjiro's part. Teal deer. IDK.



Shinjiro pours the green tea he's made into two ceramic cups, leaving them onto the counter near the side of the sink absentmindedly, giving the tea a few minutes to cool while he waits for Miki to get back from changing out of her festival clothes. Perhaps she hadn't needed to, but what they had needed was a few minutes to breathe, and he was more than willing to give her as much space and time as she needed before coming down to his apartment again. They both needed a few moments to themselves before diving into things. Most of which he wasn't looking forward to telling her. Not when she had looked so upset and confused as it was—though she seemed to possess the Sanada habit to recover fairly quickly, all things considered. Meanwhile, he's still trying to digest some of the things Minako had told him.

He wonders then if he should make something quick and more substantial to go along with the tea, though decides against it seconds later. Food would only be an unwanted distraction that would probably be left mostly untouched. And... hell, he doesn't even know what food Miki likes now. That alone makes him suddenly and painfully aware of the divide that's between them. She seemingly knows him, but... he doesn't know her. Just the shadow of her that rests in the dust-filled hallways of a part of his life that's come and gone.

She was clearly different now, exuding the type of confidence he never expected out of the little girl that was, in his mind, little but a fragment of memory a decade decayed. He suddenly feels inadequate. He isn't her Shinjiro, after all. He'll never remember her like she might be expecting him to. He doesn't know how to fix this kind of thing. How to start over. Continue from where they left off. It had been ten long years for him. Who knows how long for her. This place was a pain in the ass, even though no words can quite express how happy he is to know that she's been able to make a life for herself somewhere, and that he and Aki had maybe been able to be a part of it—for a little while, at least. And it's comforting, in a way, that he has the chance to see what kind of person she could have been, as much as it pains him to see the potential that was cut short in his own.

He finally sits in one of the kitchen chairs, leaning his elbows on the table, watching the door. He no longer feels the sting from the scrape on his face from where the geta had hit him, though he can still feel the rough redness that's making his eyes feel dry and irritated, though he had managed to dam everything back as they had made their way back to the apartments. Shinjiro hadn't trusted himself to talk for more than a few words at a time, and his mind was busy enough trying to figure out what to do. How to tell her the things she needed and deserved to know, and how to ask the questions of her that needed to be answered. He had to be so damn sure about everything this time, about who she was (though he didn't doubt it), about what had happened in her timeline and where they stood at this point, that it would kill him to find out that he was wrong.

He couldn't bring Aki into this until then. He could do that much for him at least—and her. He didn't know what kind of timeline Miki had been taken from, but she couldn't have any idea how her brother had lived on his side. How he probably couldn't pass a single toy store without thinking of her. There's a reason they rarely brought her up.

He picks up his COMP then, absentmindedly at first, before he fires a text message Minato's way.

Make sure you get the right tank with a filter.
10 gallons if she's bringing home one. Bigger if she wants more.

Though maybe they had already found something at this point. He doesn't know. But the text would do its job. It says "look after your sister" just as much as it says "we're fine, so stop worrying." As "fine" as things can be, anyway. And Minako will know about it if she's around. Might keep the eventual interrogation at bay for a little while longer.

And now he all he can do is wait. For the tea to cool and Miki to come back and his emotions to settle.

Comments

[helenchanted]

Miki had always prided herself in being able to be cool and calm in most situations. The ride back home had been quiet, despite the fact she could hear her heart threatening to explode out of her chest the entire way. She had tried to say something a few times, but always closed her mouth before she did. The subway was way too public, anyway.

So now as she stood here, why were her hands still shaking as she put on her clothing? It was one of the days she is glad she rarely put on makeup - at this rate mascara would have rained down to her neck. Thankfully a few wipes of a towel had done the trick to remove traces of her crying, although the redness had remained. Miki had idly tossed the kimono aside, usually careful with her clothing. She didn't want to take too long before coming down.

Everything looked different right now. It was like she was noticing for the first time how bright her clothing was, and half afraid he wouldn't approve of it. Stop it, she repeated, scolding herself, he's already seen this before. He didn't comment about it back then, why now?

Even as the dread was there, the excitement she feels is just as strong. She is really glad Shinjiro was alive. How, she still had no idea yet, but that would most certainly get addressed. Nowhere had the butterfly man said that helping this world meant she'd see her brother again. This world was certainly something.

Finally done, she puts on her boots and walks down the levels until she comes face to face with his apartment number.

When her feet stand next to his door, she finds herself hesitating to knock, afraid that she'll wake up upon doing so. Maybe if she kept all of the memories of this time here and what she'd seen of him so far, she wouldn't have to--no. No she couldn't do that. Putting a hand on her forehead for a second, she lets out a small sigh to stop these bizarre thoughts from being there at all. She can do this.

Miki knocks twice. Usually she would just knock and let herself in back in the dorms (barely giving him enough time to react), but she decides to wait.

"H-hey. It's me."

[themortalhalf]

It takes him only a few seconds to get to the door and let her inside, hesitating for only briefly. He stares at her—it's easy now to see the family resemblance—before looking away. If he had any complaints about her clothing, he doesn't voice them.

"Come on," he says, his voice still a bit odd, not having yet found its way back to its normal register, but quietly even for now. "I made tea, if you want it."

[helenchanted]

She takes that as a half-victory, really. The sight of him again makes her also avert her eyes for a bit, at least until he mentions tea. Oh glorious, a distraction is appreciated at this time.

"Huh? ...Yeah! I'd love that."

She steps in and his apartment looks exactly like she'd expect for Shinjiro to be living anywhere, really. Trust Jiji on that account. Yet it also makes her feel at home and much more at ease.

Okay, so she always had been the more talkative one out of the two so she should be the one opening. But where to start? October 4th? What had happened since then? What they'd found out about the orphanage?

"...I'm not sure where to begin..." She had said that part out loud without realizing it, her eyes looking at the ceiling. If Shinji had any doubts about Miki's heritage, the face she is making right now is so much like Akihiko's it was almost to the point of an uncanny valley.

[themortalhalf]

He laughs when he sees her face. It's a subdued one, quiet, one without much humor, but it's a laugh. He can't really help it. He's seen that look one too many times not to recognize it when he sees it. She must have learned it from him. She had always been following him around. Makes sense that she'd pick up on a few things.

"You look a lot like your brother when you do that," he says, closing the door and walking past her to grab the tea. He hands her one of the cups before sitting down, placing his tea on the table. She's not the only one sure where to begin, except that he knows it's his responsibility to explain a few things, and then branch off from a common point. Otherwise, the things that don't make sense are going to sound even less believable as he gets to it. Make everything into a goddamn pile of shredded paper with words on it, all of which are true in some fashion, but confusing as hell and hard to put back together.

"You don't need to start anywhere. Just siddown for a minute." He wishes then that the truth could be something easy. "You trust me?"

[helenchanted]

She stops drinking her tea to look at him, confused. "I do? But I never see you make that face..." Unless he meant.. "Oh...I get it..." She averts his gaze before drowning another gulp of the green liquid, but there's a small smile. Miki enjoyed hearing stories about her sibling, for the brief life he had lived, and Shinjiro had been older than her. Miki's memories of Akihiko were tragically too brief and sometimes she couldn't even recall his face correctly.

"Of course I trust you," she continues, taking a seat when she's asked to. The tea is helping to calm down her nerves. "You're my brother, after all."

[themortalhalf]

Whatever he might've said is promptly abandoned as he chokes on what little tea he had started to swallow. Coughing, however, is no stranger to him, and he manages to set his cup down before he's tempted to spill it. Brother? He's nobody's—

"What?" he says, his voice strained, wheezing as he tries to talk through it. "No I'm n—"

And then his body decides to kick it up a notch in response to the sudden stress, sending him into one of his more typical coughing fits. His body probably thinks it's doing him a favor, trying to tear apart his lungs in a savage effort to get rid of them so that Shinjiro doesn't have to deal with things anymore. He's not her brother, even if only by name. He's not. He's not. He's not. He can't be. Aki is, goddamnit. He's her stupid, honest, kind, brave, reckless sibling she needed to have. Shinjiro can see him in the patchwork of what Miki's genes have made her. He's not her brother, and she doesn't need another one who can't do anything for her. Aki has always been enough. It's all Aki ever wanted to be, and he needs that chance.

Shinjiro sees nothing of him in her.

God fucking damn it he can't breathe.

[helenchanted]

"You're not wh-" she doesn't have time to finish that as Shinji starts to choke and Miki worryingly stands up, putting her own cup on a flat surface nearby. She'd seen him have his share of those fits before, but this one seems a little too out of the blue. Was it something she said?

"H-hey! Raise your arms in the air, that will help you breath easier!"

She's trying to help. Really. She knows from experience slapping on anyone's back in a situation like this is a bad idea.

[themortalhalf]

He appreciates her concern, but he's not here to look like an idiot. That, and he's how the hell that would even work, but the realities of it don't really matter at this point, he's currently too busy coughing to really care. Eventually, however, like it always does, his coughing subsides, and he can feel his lungs start to breathe properly again.

He's not her brother. Why the hell would she even want to call him that? God damnit.

"Aki's your—" he pauses again, breathes. That's probably a bad place to start. "Shit." How the hell is he even supposed to explain. "I know how this is gonna sound, but I need you to listen. Then you can think what you want. You remember the fire?"

Or perhaps her world didn't have one. But he'll know that soon enough.

[helenchanted]

Quietly, she sits down again, fingers entwining themselves.

They rarely talked about the fire. The experience had left her utterly shattered for a few months, and despite being able to move on for the sake of her brother...there were still nightmares from time to time. Sometimes it was the both of them dying. Sometimes Shinji tried to help and died too. Sometimes they all got out before both her brothers suddenly burst into flames and she couldn't do anything...

They'd become rarer with each passing year, but they'd sneak up on her, leaving Miki breathless and covered in sweat. She gives him a slow nod, looking down at her cup of tea instead of him.

"How could I ever forget?...That's when he..."

That's when Akihiko died.

[themortalhalf]

So the orphanage had burned.

He had never liked to talk about the fire either. Aki brought it up far more than he did. Even then, it wasn't often, though he knew they both thought about it more than the either of them would care to admit, given that they were both walking hypocrites. Aki always had a hard time letting go of the fact that he hadn't been able to do anything, because hadn't been strong enough, or fast enough.

And it's just as hard now, seeing her here, all alive and grown up in front of him, because it gives Shinjiro a glimpse at the life that she could have lived had she gotten the chance to.

Every now and then Shinjiro imagines how terrified she must have been inside the orphanag that day (just as he's sure Aki does), alone, surrounded by yards of unforgiving flame and burning smoke, trapped with nowhere to go, probably believing all that time that someone was going to break down that door and rescue her. And why wouldn't she? Little kids believed in people, and didn't live each day thinking that they might die. Miki had certainly believed in the two of them, put her hope and trust in two kids who never came to her rescue in the end. They had just left her alone to die, even though they hadn't wanted to. Even if there was no blame to place, it still hurt. And even now, he hopes she didn't have to be scared for very long.

He's not sure how much he believes in God. There's an odd dichotomy between what he believes and what he doesn't, and what he inwardly wants to believe, because believing in those things makes the world easier to live in. But he hopes that if there is a God, that He had the goddamn mercy to take her away before the fire could so much as touch her. It was the least an omnipotent god could do for an innocent little girl who hadn't done a single thing wrong.

But if this Miki survived, something about what happened that day had to have changed, and hearing Miki trail off like that makes him come to a pretty simple conclusion. It's an easy conclusion to imagine—it's not hard at all for him to envision it. He had been right beside Aki that night. If Aki hadn't been so young, no one in entire damn world would have been able to stop Aki from running into the orphanage. Not even him. Perhaps Shinjiro's wrong, but after hearing the subtle difference in the Arisatos' circumstances (one survived while the other did not), it's easy to replace one person with another. Like death was the world's universal balancing tool. A life for a life.

So the idiot had gotten his chance. Though he hopes that everything else Miki may very well be implying is wrong. Because that idiot.

"So Aki died then?"

[text - for real this time. Expect it in the middle of the serious discussion.[

[fools_journey]

She is getting several fish, and one of them will be named Shinjiro. She's calling them SEAS.

[text to shinjiro from minako's COMP, shortly afterward]

[greatseal]

I'm not taking any responsibility for that pun.

Good luck, Senpai. I'll be home later if you need to talk.

Love you lots <3 xooxo

[text]

[fools_journey]

Her fish will also be home. Watching you.

[text]

[themortalhalf]

[He has no response to this.

He also doesn't owe you shit, btw. Just stuff your face with the taiyaki and be grateful about it.]

[fools_journey]

[ w o w
somebody woke up on the wrong side of the trash can this morning. ]

[themortalhalf]

[He saw that joke text you sent Arisato. Don't you think he didn't.]

[fools_journey]

[ Whatever. ]

[helenchanted]

[text some time later.]

[themortalhalf]

[He has no reason to check his COMP, but he'll pick it up sometime later, reading the unsent messages. He's not sure what to make of the fact that she's naming a damned fish after him. Or the pun.

His reaction to Minako's message is a slightly different story. Luckily, such reactions aren't usually shown through a bunch of typed words. He's thankful, at this point, for its emotionless presentation.]

I'll talk to you tomorrow.

[The appreciation is unsaid, but it's there.]

[greatseal]

[kyaa senpai noticed me!!1!

she will wait patiently for him to come by when he's ready.]

[themortalhalf]

[kyaaa! giiiirrrrl senpai has looked in your direction!!!1.

he will come and visit her after his best friend's not-so-dead-sister posts some spoilers for her eyes to behold. Until then, enjoy the radio silence.]

[greatseal]

Once she gets done learning the spoilers she's just going to sit. In silence. Staring at the fishtank.

She should probably call Minato. But something else is keeping her from doing so.

This continues until Shinjiro ends up interrupting.

[themortalhalf]

And he'll come over soon enough, after he gets up, sees the message, marvels at it, and showers, making sure the water is as damn cold as he can make it. Eventually, he'll make a hard exit out of his doorway, walking over to hers and wondering if the distance between their two apartments had always been this short. He stares at the door for a few seconds, like the door might suddenly become a portal to somewhere, before knocking.

[greatseal]

Under normal circumstances, Minako might have quite a few remarks to make about her door being a portal to somewhere, and a few more about this being the first time he's ever been in her bedroom. But right now... both of their minds are in other places. It will have to wait.

When she hears the knock it takes her a moment to right herself (she'd been lying back on the bed and hugging a pillow, maybe she needs to invest in a teddy bear or something if these kind of situations are going to become normal.) But she does, and pads across the kitchen to open the door.

She's wearing a sweater, skirt and socks, but doesn't look close to being ready to go out anywhere. Her hair isn't pinned, for one. She gives him a once-over.

"....You look terrible," is the first thing from her mouth.

[themortalhalf]

There will be a time and a place for that. The fact that he's walking into her apartment doesn't really faze him. Not yet anyway. He shrugs at her comment. "It's fine."

And he will be. As hoarse as his voice sounds and at how red his eyes are and at how tired he is, he'll be back his version of normal in a few days and a good chunk of actual sleep later. What Miki had told him had been a lot to take in, coupled with the things he had to tell her in return, but it's nothing he can't handle. In the end, whatever price he has to pay to see someone who died ten years ago is a price he's willing to accept without question. "I saw her..." he pauses. "...apology."