"NO!" Her voice is raspy, and hurt. It is one thing to be called a moron - at this point she was used in her dealings with him. But to think she would ever hate either of them for circumstances they had no control over stung deeply. Miki could never fault them. If anything, she easily guessed it was only because Aki was held back by someone stronger that nothing had happened in their world. Even as the orphanage burned down, she had never stopped loving them. Her worry then had been that they were stuck in the burning building with her.
With a sigh, she leans back again and bangs her head against the wall. "I'm...I'm glad he got to live somewhere else. I always think about him and what he'd want me to do...I'm just...afraid. I know I shouldn't be, but there's this voice telling me I didn't work hard enough to deserve seeing him again. I'm sorry." She turns to him again and attempts to smile, shaking her head. "Tch. You were always telling me to keep my chin up. I'm not doing a good job right now, am I..."
Bringing her knees closer to her body, she stares off to the upright chair.
"I just wish I could have been there earlier. You always were thick-headed," she adds in a half-laugh, hand on her forehead. "I always tried to get you to join SEES again...and when you finally did, you had to get yourself killed a short while later..."
It was a tough truth to swallow that he had died in his world too. That the universe apparently decided that Shinjiro's death had been predetermined and nothing could change it. So were the three of them destined to be interwoven with nothing but tragedy? It seems...so unfair. "I knew it was October 4th. I didn't think of it too much. After all, that date had passed by the years before. Until...until I made the connection of why you had joined again. I thought it was to stop Strega and the Dark Hour. I knew about the drugs too, but I thought you were going to change. If we stopped the Dark Hour, that meant there wouldn't be shadows anymore, and you could finally be free..." She knew all too well of his pain in being a Persona user. That fateful night when Castor had gone berserk and even Helen had been unable to calm him down. It had been one of her own reasons as to why she had fought so hard. Without shadows, there was no need for Persona. Shinji wouldn't have to worry anymore, and her brother's freedom was what she had desired the most out of this. He would still have the guilt of Ken's mother on his mind, but if she could lighten his burden even a tiny speck for him...she would have moved mountains if need be.
"But I realized...too late...that you had gone off to see Amada." She says his name with a tone of informality. If she had been from a closer time to that date, it would have been laced with venom, but their talk before the fight against Nyx had mellowed her in regards to the youngest Strega member. "We arrived too late. I saw him and Minato running off...I thought the Strega leader had killed you. I only found out the truth and Sakaki's involvement later..."
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With a sigh, she leans back again and bangs her head against the wall. "I'm...I'm glad he got to live somewhere else. I always think about him and what he'd want me to do...I'm just...afraid. I know I shouldn't be, but there's this voice telling me I didn't work hard enough to deserve seeing him again. I'm sorry." She turns to him again and attempts to smile, shaking her head. "Tch. You were always telling me to keep my chin up. I'm not doing a good job right now, am I..."
Bringing her knees closer to her body, she stares off to the upright chair.
"I just wish I could have been there earlier. You always were thick-headed," she adds in a half-laugh, hand on her forehead. "I always tried to get you to join SEES again...and when you finally did, you had to get yourself killed a short while later..."
It was a tough truth to swallow that he had died in his world too. That the universe apparently decided that Shinjiro's death had been predetermined and nothing could change it. So were the three of them destined to be interwoven with nothing but tragedy? It seems...so unfair. "I knew it was October 4th. I didn't think of it too much. After all, that date had passed by the years before. Until...until I made the connection of why you had joined again. I thought it was to stop Strega and the Dark Hour. I knew about the drugs too, but I thought you were going to change. If we stopped the Dark Hour, that meant there wouldn't be shadows anymore, and you could finally be free..." She knew all too well of his pain in being a Persona user. That fateful night when Castor had gone berserk and even Helen had been unable to calm him down. It had been one of her own reasons as to why she had fought so hard. Without shadows, there was no need for Persona. Shinji wouldn't have to worry anymore, and her brother's freedom was what she had desired the most out of this. He would still have the guilt of Ken's mother on his mind, but if she could lighten his burden even a tiny speck for him...she would have moved mountains if need be.
"But I realized...too late...that you had gone off to see Amada." She says his name with a tone of informality. If she had been from a closer time to that date, it would have been laced with venom, but their talk before the fight against Nyx had mellowed her in regards to the youngest Strega member. "We arrived too late. I saw him and Minato running off...I thought the Strega leader had killed you. I only found out the truth and Sakaki's involvement later..."