[action] cue the Yakety Sax

[doesasordered]

Who: Nikolai Volkov and you!
Where: Ichiban Market, Virgo Ward
Summary: TRIHARDO has taken a hold of him and everyone else gets to suffer

[Nik was actually fine with the media's downplay of his involvement in the Virgo monster's defeat. He didn't want to be brought into the limelight. He liked his mostly quiet life and his quiet job as the manager at Ichiban Market.

Except being in that fight got him a face full of those spores, so now he's got a bad case of the try hards.

Feeling compelled to help customers in the store today, Nik's doing more harm than good. He's been knocking over displays, toppling grocery carts, and some how just spreading the mess when trying to clean everything up.

The problem is, he's in charge. No one can tell him to knock it off or go home. Truth be told, some of the employees are even a bit intimidate by him normally. Except today, he's being strangely more apologetic and outwardly frustrated than he's ever been in his life.

If you're out shopping today, look out. He's coming your way. Nik only wants to help! ]

Comments

[blessed_by_the_world]

[Well, some of the employees are intimidated. He's just toppled over her very lovely soup can display and is getting a stern puffy cheeked glare.]

Hey! I worked really hard on that!

[doesasordered]

Ah... I'm sorry, young lady. I didn't mean-- Here. I'll get them. [He starts to chase around the ones that are rolling away. Yes, he just called you "young lady".]

[blessed_by_the_world]

What?

[She frowns, and then follows after him. The cans can wait.]

Nik-oji-san.... are you feeling okay?

[doesasordered]

Perfectly fine. I-- oh. [He's picked up a few cans, scooping them into his arms, but one escapes from the top of the pile and starts rolling off. He chases after that one now.]

[blessed_by_the_world]

I'll get it!

[She rushes forward, trying to get to the can before he drops all the others trying to pick that one up.

He seems a little clumsy today. She's starting to think maybe he's sick.]

[doesasordered]

[She might not be too far off thinking that.]

No, it's fine, really. [And as he reaches down in order to pick it up, the rest come loose from his arms, falling all over and hitting his feet in the process. Ouch. He sighs sharply.

Watch where you're running, Akane!]

[blessed_by_the_world]

Watch out!

[She says a second too late. Akane manages to stumble out of the way of the falling cans with a startled squeal.]

Are you okay?

[doesasordered]

Yes, I'm okay, why would I not be. [He looks serious as cans roll all around him.] Ah. Sorry, young lady.

[blessed_by_the_world]

Why do you keep calling me that?

[doesasordered]

Call you what? [He sets down the small pile he'd collected neatly on the ground, turns to get others, and knocks it back over with his foot as he does.] блядь--

[blessed_by_the_world]

'Young lady.'

[She winces sympathetically when they fall over yet again. Quickly, she rushes forward and starts picking the cans up before he has a chance.]

[doesasordered]

I don't know what you're talking about young la-- Ah. Akane.

[He looks over at all the cans rolling all over the aisle. Le sigh.]

I, um. Can you just take care of this and I will see where else I may be needed...?

[blessed_by_the_world]

Um, I'll pick these up, but... maybe you should go home for the day.

[doesasordered]

No! I cannot. Far too much here to do. Too many customers who need my help.

[blessed_by_the_world]

I'm sure one day would be fine! And maybe a rest would help you...

[Be less clumsy. Stop messing things up.]

feel better.

[doesasordered]

I feel fine, young lady. I swear. [JUST FRUSTRATED NOW.] Now, I'm going to-- [And as he attempts to walk off, he slips on one of the cans. Right on to his back he falls.]

...

lie here for a moment.

[blessed_by_the_world]

......

[He did it again. She frowns.]

Maybe you should go lie down on the couch in the break room. I can handle things on my own for a little while.

[doesasordered]

I... Alright. Fine. But I will be back in exactly five minutes. [He sits up slowly, rubbing his head.]

[blessed_by_the_world]

Good. I'll take care of this.

[She will use those five minutes to fix the can display. She considers just putting up the closed sign. It might be safer that way. But would she get in trouble....?]

[electricyousei]

Ruri comes in quietly as usual and starts browsing the shelves.

"Noodles... Noodles... Are there fresh noodles anywhere?"

[doesasordered]

Ah, can I help you, young lady? [Though this sounds more like a statement than a question. Looks like the manager just happened to be passing by as you were muttering to yourself, Ruri.]

[electricyousei]

"I was looking for fresh noodles. Are there any here?"

[doesasordered]

Yes, over in th-- [And as he turns to point, he manages to swing his arm directly into a shelf, sending some boxes tumbling.] >Ah, not again--

[electricyousei]

"Um, do you need some help with that? I know the Nadesico's cooks got like that when they were overworked."

[doesasordered]

No, I'm fine-- [He scrambles to pick them up.] No matter how many times I get asked that today.

[electricyousei]

She nods, but shows slight concern mixed in with her deadpan.

"I see. Still, it may be best if you take a 5 minute break once you get this done?"

[doesasordered]

I will take my break at the proper time. But I will consider it, young lady. [He arranges the shelf and sighs. This was getting irritating, and even his employees were losing their patience with him.]

[electricyousei]

"I'll just go get the noodles then."

She starts edging away from him as if he may be crazy.

[doesasordered]

No, please, allow me. [He quickly arranges the shelf to hurry after her.]

[electricyousei]

"Its no problem now that I know where they are."

[phantom_envoy]

Oh, hey.

[Phantom Girl glances up from the cartons of pasta she's examining as Nik blunders his way down the aisle. She raises an eyebrow as he almost elbows a shelf of tinned food.]

You work here? I thought I'd try a different grocery store; see what they had around.

[doesasordered]

Hello, I--ah, sorry. Yes, I do. We have a good store here, so just let me know if I can-- [And he walks right into an endcap display of cereal boxes.]

[phantom_envoy]

...Are you feeling OK?

[Phantom Girl watches this performance and wonders if she should intervene. ...He could probably prop himself up, though.]

I mean, if you have a fever or something, you probably shouldn't be around customers.

[doesasordered]

Yes, of course. [His tone indicates that this isn't the first time today he's been asked this. He sighs and picks up the boxes, though. This was all getting a little frustrating, but he was just trying to be a good manager.]

[phantom_envoy]

...OK, then.

[A slight pause.]

Have you considered working at the cash register? You seem like the kind of guy who'd be good with math.

[Also nothing would fall over. ...Probably.]

[doesasordered]

My place is here among the customers. There are enough cashiers. But thank you for the suggestion. Now, what can I help you with?

[phantom_envoy]

You can probably help by not tripping over anything else.

I'm also looking for Bgztlian cuisine, but we can go ahead and make that a secondary priority.

[doesasordered]

... Yes. Point taken. Ah, I'm afraid I'm not familiar with that, young lady. what does it include?

[phantom_envoy]

Gmyan noodles. They're like a thin, flat, almost transparent noodle with a pliable mouth-feel. It's really good; we import it to Earth. ...But I guess there's no chance of finding anything like that here.

sorry for the delay, been sick. x_x

[doesasordered]

Well there are glass noodles, that's about as close as w-- [As he turns to lead her on to that aisle, he walks straight into an employee who was carrying some produce. Lettuce heads go bouncing everywhere.]

[phantom_envoy]

[A few of them go bouncing straight through Phantom Girl as she experts fades out and back in.]

...Oh! You know what, my superhero senses are telling me that there's a person over in Aisle 25 who could really use some help right now. You should check it out.

...But walk. Don't run.