destinystrings | (no subject)

Who: Pitto. Open!
Where: Capricorn. Afternoon.
Summary: An angel must always be prepared! And so Pit is practicing on his entry lines.
Warnings: Corn.

There's a bench in the park occupied by a radio. The radio is blaring music--a CD, apparently. Perhaps some Extraterritorial Guests might recognize the music being played.

"Listen you--hnng, I use that too much..."

The bench and radio face a clearing in the park.

"Alright, how about... It's time to, uh...um...pull in...the laundry? Oh, no..."

The clearing in the park is occupied by a certain angel, who just a moment ago stood in a dramatic pose. Now he has his hand cupped around his chin, his face deep in thought.

"'It's time to"'s a good start, but...laundry? Umm... Maybe if they were a clothes monster... Oh, I know! It's time to take out the trash! Aww yeah!"

The angel pumps a fist in the air.

"I'm here to clean up the filth and dump it in the heap! Hope you're wearing shades, 'cause it's about to get squeaky clean in here! Man I am on fire!"

Someone stop him. Please.

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"Is it too late to convince everyone that you're really losing it?"

Viridi's voice echoes, as always, as perfectly clearly as if she were standing beside him.

"Pull yourself together, Pit! I know it's hard right now, but you have to be strong! Don't let yourself be dragged down even further!"

A pause.

"And I think you can try 'wring out the laundry'; it sounds more threatening that way."

Edited 2012-12-05 04:38 (UTC)

"But wouldn't I be the one wringing out the laundry?"

Pause.

"And wait, why are you butting in, anyway?!"

"Probably the same reason you're practicing corny pre-battle one-liners in the middle of the park for everyone to hear.

"And yes, Pit, that's what I meant."

"Will you mind your own business? I know you're all omn...omni...you can see everything 'cause you're a goddess, but that doesn't mean you should see everything! Can't I get a moment to myself?!"

Plus, Viridi, you're making him look even worse. He's saying all this out loud, waving his hands, and to--who? No one anyone else can see.

"Says the pot calling the kettle black. You just interrupted my conversation with your edgier half like, two days ago. And don't even pretend that was by accident; we were conversing telepathically."

Viridi's job in life is to make Pit look worse, so it's all good.

"You were saying bad things about me!!! You always say bad things about me! Why are you guys so mean?"

Someone cue the strings.

"Since when did you start caring about that kind of thing? I said much worse things before while you were blithely frolicking through the skies destroying my troops. What happened to that catchphrase - every dweeb has his day?"

That was totally not his catchphrase ever but same difference.

"You're the commander of an army; seriously, it's like water off your back."

"I-I was busy that time!"

"So what, you're so bored now you have nothing to think about except that we're mean to you? Go spend time with your girlfriend; that'll keep you busy."

"Well I was busy until someone interrupted me."

One has the impression that he's only whining about Dark Pit and Viridi being mean to him because it gives him something to argue about with them.

One has the further impression that Pit enjoys the company of people he argues with.

Hmm.

"Oh, no one's stopping you. Go on ahead. If you hear any giggling, it's all in your head, honest."

Viridi mentally turns up the volume on her telepathy because pestering Pit is her second favorite activity.

"Wait, hold on! ...Popcorn! Now where'd I put the little blue bag...?"

"Look, I can't do this if I know you're watching!"

He gets stage fright, remember? You played the game, didn't you?

"Will it make you feel better if I say Pittoo's lines for you?" That sound there is definitely not a snicker, clearly not. Her voice drops a few octaves.

"I am the Dark Poseur, servant to none other than ~myself~ hohohohoho."

Pit is so. not. laughing. at all.

...except he is.

"I gotta admit, that's pretty spot on."

Upon retrospect, practicing in the gathering grounds of a known troll probably wasn't the best of ideas.

So don't mind Misery as she floats over here, watching with the wickedest smile on her face.

Latooni, now technically a resident of this district, is just going to be over here quietly wondering what the hell Pit is doing. Very quietly.

Pit? Thinking things through? Never.

"Hmm, you know, I should work on my lines in case there's another tournament," he muses aloud. Then, striking another pose: "Move outta the way 'cause the Steamrolling Servant of Light's makin' his way through!"

Pause.

"No, that doesn't sound right..."

After the obligatory pause, a song starts playing on the radio. Pit stops what he's doing and begins to sing.

"You certainly have the enthusiasm down pat!" Came some helpful advice from a nearby spectator.

"Thank you!" he says, turning around towards his audience. He's positively beaming!

"I practice making fun of you guys when I have nothing better to do with my time." Viridi responds in a deadpan. "...So in this place, all the time."

"...you really need to get a new hobby."

"Says the angel practicing victory cheers and backflips in the park."

"At least I'm doing something!"

"How about 'I am the Steamroller of Light, and I shall be paving my way to victory through you?' Hmm, yes, it has potential, I believe."

No it doesn't. She just wants to see how he reacts.

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