destinystrings | (no subject)

Who: Pitto. Open!
Where: Capricorn. Afternoon.
Summary: An angel must always be prepared! And so Pit is practicing on his entry lines.
Warnings: Corn.

There's a bench in the park occupied by a radio. The radio is blaring music--a CD, apparently. Perhaps some Extraterritorial Guests might recognize the music being played.

"Listen you--hnng, I use that too much..."

The bench and radio face a clearing in the park.

"Alright, how about... It's time to, uh...um...pull in...the laundry? Oh, no..."

The clearing in the park is occupied by a certain angel, who just a moment ago stood in a dramatic pose. Now he has his hand cupped around his chin, his face deep in thought.

"'It's time to"'s a good start, but...laundry? Umm... Maybe if they were a clothes monster... Oh, I know! It's time to take out the trash! Aww yeah!"

The angel pumps a fist in the air.

"I'm here to clean up the filth and dump it in the heap! Hope you're wearing shades, 'cause it's about to get squeaky clean in here! Man I am on fire!"

Someone stop him. Please.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Will you mind your own business? I know you're all omn...omni...you can see everything 'cause you're a goddess, but that doesn't mean you should see everything! Can't I get a moment to myself?!"

Plus, Viridi, you're making him look even worse. He's saying all this out loud, waving his hands, and to--who? No one anyone else can see.

"Says the pot calling the kettle black. You just interrupted my conversation with your edgier half like, two days ago. And don't even pretend that was by accident; we were conversing telepathically."

Viridi's job in life is to make Pit look worse, so it's all good.

"You were saying bad things about me!!! You always say bad things about me! Why are you guys so mean?"

Someone cue the strings.

"Since when did you start caring about that kind of thing? I said much worse things before while you were blithely frolicking through the skies destroying my troops. What happened to that catchphrase - every dweeb has his day?"

That was totally not his catchphrase ever but same difference.

"You're the commander of an army; seriously, it's like water off your back."

"I-I was busy that time!"

"So what, you're so bored now you have nothing to think about except that we're mean to you? Go spend time with your girlfriend; that'll keep you busy."

"Well I was busy until someone interrupted me."

One has the impression that he's only whining about Dark Pit and Viridi being mean to him because it gives him something to argue about with them.

One has the further impression that Pit enjoys the company of people he argues with.

Hmm.

"Oh, no one's stopping you. Go on ahead. If you hear any giggling, it's all in your head, honest."

Viridi mentally turns up the volume on her telepathy because pestering Pit is her second favorite activity.

"Wait, hold on! ...Popcorn! Now where'd I put the little blue bag...?"

"Look, I can't do this if I know you're watching!"

He gets stage fright, remember? You played the game, didn't you?

"Will it make you feel better if I say Pittoo's lines for you?" That sound there is definitely not a snicker, clearly not. Her voice drops a few octaves.

"I am the Dark Poseur, servant to none other than ~myself~ hohohohoho."

Pit is so. not. laughing. at all.

...except he is.

"I gotta admit, that's pretty spot on."

"I practice making fun of you guys when I have nothing better to do with my time." Viridi responds in a deadpan. "...So in this place, all the time."

"...you really need to get a new hobby."

"Says the angel practicing victory cheers and backflips in the park."

"At least I'm doing something!"

"You know what's a fun hobby? Destroying the forces of the Underworld." That was a totally appropriate segue. "Haven't been seeing you do much of that lately. You know there's a giant demon mountain that appear every night, right?"

"I have been doing that. But I've got a job, too! I can't survive on government subsidies alone!"

"I thought you didn't need anything except wings to survive." Too soon? "If we're going to take down whatever's threatening this world, we need to investigate the source of the demons. And that means being a little bit more organized about this kind of thing."

"I also need to eat," he mutters.

"Anyway, I get what you're saying, but can't we, just...relax sometimes?"

"Haven't you been relaxing for the last three months? C'mon, shake off that laziness! I'll even set the difficulty back to 1 for you if you want."

"Viridi... What part of 'I have my own life' did you not understand? I really appreciate all you did for me back when Lady Palutena was in trouble, but... I don't work for you. And you can't boss me around like this."

"Ugh! Why is it so hard to find good help nowadays?! We're going to be stuck here forever if no one wants to explore the dumb mountain! Whatever. If none of you are going to get off your butts and actually do what you're here to do, I'm building another bomb and dropping it on the stupid thing."

"You know what, Viridi? Instead of complaining about how nobody will go in there and fight, how about you do it? Go in there and fight with your own hands and not just sit there and throw a bomb at it! See how you like fighting all the time! Those demons probably don't have anything to do with why we're here! But if you want to kill them so bad, fine! But you go in there and fight like you're asking me to do!"

"What are you talking about? There's nothing threatening this world except the demons; at least be coherent when you're losing your temper."

"And I can't go out there, you doofus. You think Palutena and I relied on you because we were lazy? And why do you think Medusa was holed up in her castle instead of out on the front lines? We can't just go out and stomp around in person; it'd be even more destructive than a bomb. Remember the rainbow apocalypse?"

"Look, just--stop bossin' me around! I don't care what you do as long as you don't hurt other people! But I'm not your angel!"

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