Happy Hallmark Holidays

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

Who: Guybrush, OPEN.
Where: Virgo District.
Summary: Screw Animus. The true terror of February is holiday exploitation.
Warnings: Lovey dovey stuff.
All right, so he knows there's a crazy situation right now what with a bunch of other visitors missing, and what with apparently that shiny doohickey thing he'd touched back in the ruins apparently being the sign of terrible apocalyptic things to come. But the heck with that right now. He's got bigger, more important things to worry about.

Like, say, what to give his Plunderbunny for Valentine's Day.

In the past, it's been relatively simple. Go out, find treasure, loot a place, then buy something really nice for her. Preferably not with a debilitating curse, like the wedding ring. But apparently between the Seventeenth Century and the Twenty-First, something went horribly, terribly wrong.

ALL the stores are bedecked out offering tons of stuff. Chocolates, rings, teddy bears, provocative underwear... *ahem* It's not like he's got THAT much even with the money he made off deliveries, either. And some of this stuff just looks... dumb, frankly. Or cheap. Mostly both.

"Love sure ain't what it used to be," he comments, sighing. Well, no sense in putting things off. Maybe there's, like, a sword with a heart-shaped pommel or something.

Comments

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

"Er, rare antigues, monkeys, and not having undead pirates trying to kidnap her on a yearly basis," he replies, scratching his head.

[electricyousei]

"So a pirate then? Or is my analysis incorrect?"

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

"Hey, spot on. Well, technically she's a governor, but she does piratey things on the side. Kinda goes with the territory." He nods sagely.

[electricyousei]

Ruri just kind of stares at him.

"Well, I don't know much about pirates honestly. One of the Nadesico's duties was hunting them from the asteroid belt, but let's assume you aren't the kind that murders transport crews, perhaps you could get a custom pressed cutlas or something with the Jolly Roger on it?"

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

"Nnnnno, it's not really on my CV for the most part." Most of HIS murders are indirect and primarily accidental. "And gee, I dunno, wouldn't that be pretty expensive?"

[electricyousei]

"Well from a store yes, but if you find someone with a custom press it'd probably only cost you the materials."

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

He frowns. "This isn't gonna require beating up things, is it? I've never been really good at the whole 'grinding' thing,"

[electricyousei]

"If you can get the sheet metal I have a robot repair system on my ship. I think I can scale down the replacement blades to human size with little effort."

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

"Wow!" Hang on a minute. "Wait, what's the catch here?"

[electricyousei]

"Catch? None really. Don't stab me with it?"

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

"That's it? No long series of fetch quests in order to accumulate three things you need in order to get things accomplished?" He seems actually rather bewildered at this.

[electricyousei]

"Buy the steel, we'll go to my ship and pick a design and you can have it pressed? Why would I need fetch quests?"

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

Aaaaand there's the catch.

"How much is steel going for in bulk again?" he asks, eyebrow raised.

[electricyousei]

"I have no idea, I haven't looked. But if you come up with some I'll gladly press it for you. It'll be a good opportunity to see if the repair systems are working on the Nadesico."

[a_pirate_meant_to_be]

"Right. Steel. Gotcha." Guybrush senses some scrounging and clever tactics may be on his to-do list after all. Naturally.

[electricyousei]

"Just let me know when you have the resources, or stop by the large metal space ship in the park."