Where can I go from here?

[trainwrecking]

Who: Yuzuru Otonashi and OPEN.
Where: On on of the lit-up main roads on a snowy day: backdated to the 26th!
Summary: Otonashi is trying to honor a lost loved one's memory, collect himself after the Shadow event, and move forward.
Warnings: (P...ossible talk of character death? I guess that's always a disclaimer with these losers.)

[He wouldn't shed tears, he told himself. That isn't what she would have wanted for him, but the small snack cake in his hand? His late sister would have loved that. She probably would have urged him to try some.

Weary after donating blood just an hour before, it's in his best interest to oblige. The taste is forgettable -- or maybe he just isn't paying it any mind.

Sitting beside him on the bench is a rather large chocolate cake, (a gift with no owner now, regrettably) along with a couple of other small boxes and something wrapped in a damp envelope. His intent had once been to give these items out, but after his first rejected gift, his plans had changed somewhat. The redhead found himself sitting here instead, taking in the sight of people walking in the dimly lit roads. The warm, white lights had yet to be taken down, cheerfully glimmering on the falling snow. Children of all ages took part in an increasingly aggressive snowball fight in the park nearby, their laughter and yelling crystal clear even from here.

He had been so afraid of his memories and of the truth -- any truth -- that he can't help but desire to fold into himself to think. Nothing but snow and unclaimed gifts accompany him. Maybe he should get going; he needs to pawn off this dumb cake.

Will you bum cake off him? (Seriously he won't eat this thing..!) Tell him to move so you can park your butt on that bench instead? Throw a snowball (rude!)?]

((I will be finishing up Shadow stuff and tagging into more people's event stuff still! But I wanted something easy + an excuse for him to have gifts to give, if... he can get over his first spectacularly failed gift attempt.))

Comments

[trainwrecking]

Wow, we must have missed each other shopping for these things...

[Incidentally, he bought something very similar for Hinata.]

Eheh, I'm sure they're fine! I can't try them out here, but I will. [He removes one of his gloves to feel the fabric, trying to busy himself to hide the surprise. Otonashi had expected no gift from anyone. Finally, he looks up, just when he thinks he's composed.]

... Thanks, Aoi. I really appreciate it. Ahh, the um-- the red box with the silver bow is yours. [He wrapped it himself and it's very much obvious. Bad teenage boy wrap job is a go.]

[eyewillprotect]

We've known each other for a while now, so... I wanted to do something for you.

[She looks a little surprised herself to hear that there's something for her, but she'll go ahead and reach for the gift.]

This one... right?

[And once he gives the affirmative, she'll go ahead and unwrap it, revealing...]

[trainwrecking]

[It's an understated gift with tissue paper in all the wrong places (and too much of it, really). But if she can brave the slightly tattered tissue paper, she'll uncover quite a few new ribbons in varying colors, each bright and rich. He made sure to get something well-made, but simple.

Along with it is a small coat, complete with cutesy little details like stiff ribbons and snowflake-shaped zippers. It's cute, really, and makes it no secret that he's picked out cutesy clothes for someone before.]

Yeah, I... never really needed to wrap things before, but I thought it would make it look nicer. Not worse.

[eyewillprotect]

[Goodness! She certainly looks happy.]

These are all so cute! Ah, hold on a moment--

[She takes two of the ribbons and, carefully untying the ones already in her hair, replaces them with the new.]

-How do they look?

[trainwrecking]

I wasn't sure what color would be best, so I got a few...

[But he looks pleased to see that she seems to like them so much.]

Hah, I think it looks great! They're really vibrant against your hair..! I guess I'd be kinda biased though, huh?

[eyewillprotect]

They're really wonderful colors! Thank you so much-- I'll be sure to wear them all the time!

[Carefully taking the rest in hand, she then turns her attention to the coat.]

This, too... it's adorable! I must say... You're much better at picking out clothes than I am.

[She gives a slightly embarrassed laugh, here. But she still seems pleased nonetheless.]

[trainwrecking]

Ah, what? What makes you say that..?

[It's a little embarrassing, but nice to hear.]

I just thought it was cute... And I'm not unhappy with mine! They'll go with anything.

[eyewillprotect]

[She certainly appears to agree - she hugs the coat close even as she speaks to him.]

We never did go on a proper shopping trip, so... I thought they would be good for this weather since it's been so cold lately.

But... really. Thank you so much, Yuzuru. I love it!

[trainwrecking]

[Would it be selfish of him to admit that part of his motivation for getting any of these gifts had been to hear their 'thank you's'? Of course he wanted to express care for the people in his lives and relieve the pain of the shadows, but --

It was far more than that. He harshly swallows the nostalgia. It tastes like old regret.]

Mmm. I hope you enjoy it. ["I hope it fits" might have sounded better, but he lets it pass.]

That's all I want. Oh, um... feel free to help yourself to juice, too. They gave me some extras.

[eyewillprotect]

Ah... you're sure you don't want them?

[They could always save them for later if he wanted to keep them...]

[trainwrecking]

They gave me several after I donated. If you're thirsty, take one. Whatever's left probably won't make it home...

[Yeah, yeah, he's doing what he can to keep sugar up, but offering to share just feels right.]

[eyewillprotect]

Oh... you just donated blood? In that case, isn't it better if you keep it for yourself?

[She's learned a few things about blood donation since Otonashi's moved in with her.]

I'll be fine, so don't worry about me.

[trainwrecking]

Yeah. I... wanted to do something special.

[Blood and plasma are about the only things he can spare, but if it were possible to give more and not die in the process...]

So, um... ['What do you think of the lights?' 'What do you usually do on Christmas?' He struggles a little, trying not to let the tone drift to a melancholy one...]

[eyewillprotect]

I'm sure whoever receives it will appreciate it very much.

[She thinks the donations alone are quite admirable.]

Aside from the donation, what have you been up to lately?

[trainwrecking]

Trying to enjoy the decorations... and not get hit by the snowball war going on.

[He goes to take a sip of juice, but ends up squeezing the box and shooting a nice stream of "orange pineapple adventure" (???) onto his cheek.]

"Trying to enjoy" is the operative word, I guess.

[eyewillprotect]

[...That... was a thing.]

...Are you alright, Yuzuru?

[trainwrecking]

It's fine... I'm surprised you didn't laugh.

[And then, quickly:]

N-not that you make a habit of making fun of people.

[eyewillprotect]

It just... surprised me.

[Even now, she's digging into the pocket of her coat, fetching out her handkerchief and offering it to Otonashi.

Still, that emphasis on "trying"... It's a pretty heavy-handed hint, all things considered.]

Did... something go wrong?

[trainwrecking]

[He takes the handkerchief, nodding quickly in appreciation and dabbing the juice spot on his cheek.]

Thanks... [Her question has him hesitant, though.]

... Ah, nothing that bad. This just isn't exactly my holiday... I seem to make really stupid mistakes when it comes around.

[eyewillprotect]

Ah... is that so?

[But... wait a minute, here.]

Does that mean... you remember the other times you celebrated it?

[trainwrecking]

Ah?

[He heard her. It's more a sound of disbelief, and -- no, he can't lie to her. He's not the best at covering up his lies. Someone always seems to find him out.]

Yeah... some of them. The most -- important. I don't remember things like my parents celebrating with me. Maybe they never did, I -- I don't know. Pretty dumb, huh...

[He swallows back more of that lingering guilt. This time, it tastes like the juice he's knocking back with it.]

[eyewillprotect]

...I don't think it's dumb at all.

[He looks so uncomfortable, it gives her a pause.]

...I'm sorry, if you don't want to talk about it, I won't pry.

[trainwrecking]

You don't need to apologize. You're just trying to be supportive, right? You're trying to understand...

[She isn't so different from him.]

... My little sister always wanted to enjoy a day like this, but she was too sick to be outside. Hah, I still wish I could've traded places with her. She probably would have loved it if you showed her how you do your hair... [He smiles a little, distantly.]

You'd have a little copycat on your hands, I bet.

[eyewillprotect]

Your... little sister?

[But... according to the Shadow, his little sister was...]

I'm... I'm so, so sorry.

[trainwrecking]

Mmn... It's--

[It will never be completely "fine," and he knows it. As forward as he might like to be on most matters, mourning someone you loved -- that you would still love -- is a completely different beast. He can allow himself to miss her, can't he?

In due time, the sense of loss might fade, but he doesn't want to forget her. Not again.]

Thanks. I'm... trying not to be a downer when everyone else is so happy. I don't know how well I'm doing.