destinystrings | Finally Free

Yamato let out a harsh breath through his nose, tapping his fingers against the side of his cup, watching the brown surface of his coffee ripple from the minor movements.

"So he cast his original name aside, then? Obviously, he would," Yamato muttered the last part under his breath, his lips pressing together in a thin line. His tense expression relaxed after a fraction though, shoving the irritable emotions out of the way to be forgotten. Annoying things.

"It's unimportant. So you simply sided with him by accident?"

"Kind of. After everyone separated, I just...went out for a walk to clear my head, you know? I was just sick of everyone fighting when Polaris was the one causing all this. And..."

>You explained to Yamato about the conversation you had with Saiduq.

Yamato was quiet for a long moment, his gaze still watching the surface of his coffee. To be honest it looked like he hadn't been listening at all to Kaito, from the sheer lack of response he was giving.

Then, "You wished to start the world completely anew, with Alcor as the new Administrator?" he asked softly, before letting out a low chuckle. A new world? A clean slate? Only Alcor would support something so - fantastical. A new world would mean nothing, as humans as they were now would only force it to descend back into its previous state of corruption and filth.

They were disgusting, horrible beings. Did the new world change their ways? Perhaps, if the environment fostered something different to a world of laziness and corruption... but judging by how Kaito explained them, neither Alcor or him knew how the new world would have turned out.

"Again, you defy my expectations. The old world - yes, it deserved to be obliterated from the annals of history in such a fashion, but what point is there in creating a new one? It would simply rot from the inside out like before if the people remained the same."

"You don't know that for sure."

He said with rock solid confidence.

"If everyone ever on the planet were so bad and horrible, what about me? Or Daichi and Io, or Makoto, or everyone else who decided to step up? What about them?"

"You are the exception to the norm," Yamato said without hesitation. "You cannot deny that the vast majority of people are selfish, greedy creatures. Our society was built by bribery and nepotism, where useless filth were placed in positions of power, just because they had enough money to buy their way there, or because they were the favoured nephew-niece-cousin of so and so, and such and such. We were a society where talent was persistently squandered and crushed because of ridiculous things like "they're outsiders", or "they're women", or "they come from a poor family". A society where judgement is done by appearances and family, rather than actions and qualities."

Yamato didn't shout or raise his voice during this rant. He spoke in a very calm, steady manner, his gaze finally lifting from his coffee to stare intently into Kaito's eyes, as if trying to make him understand.

"That sort of thinking is ingrained into humans after thousands of years of this. They make the same mistakes over and over again. Many have tried to change it, but have simply despaired over their failures, and subsequently died because of it. The only way to change this flaw in humans is through revolution, when the foundations of their society is wrenched out from beneath them, forcing them to rely on their own skills - to develop their own skills to sustain humanity. Isn't that for the best? Would you rather have humans continue on this path, to rot and stagnate, to destroy a new world from the same mistakes born of an old, broken mindset...?"

At the end of Yamato's...whatever that was, Kaito sighed and ran his hand over his face, as if he were trying to rub off whatever Yamato was flinging at him. He couldn't help but stare at his tea.

"I'd rather people kept what made them human in the first place. And if you think I'm just the exception, I'm..."

He sipped a bit of his tea to calm himself.

"I'm sorry."

"Am I wrong?" Yamato asked, settling back in his seat abruptly. He hadn't realised he'd been leaning forward while speaking. He studied Kaito for a moment, finding himself frustrated that he was struggling to properly read his body language. Was he upset? Angry? Understanding? Not? No, he appeared discomforted? Had Yamato come across wrongly again?

He didn't- what were the right words?! He wasn't sure what he was saying wrong! He was right, and - surely, Kaito had to understand...! He lived with the dregs, he was shining with such potential, so he had to understand what Yamato meant! If the Invasion never happened, Kaito would have lived a life of utter mediocrity, and such talent wasted was a complete crime!

"...I don't understand."

Edited 2012-12-28 00:46 (UTC)

"Of course you...about me being this magical exception that descended from nowhere, of course you're wrong! You don't know anything about what normal people can do. I know it's not your fault, but if you think I'm just some magical exception despite being among the "dregs"" sarcastic air quotes going here, "then you're insulting my family, you're insulting the people I grew up with, including Daichi, you're insulting my teachers, you're insulting everyone who had a hand in raising and teaching me."

More sipping of the tea, although he's actually becoming a bit calmer now.

"It's...worrying, you know? I wish you could see the good in people."

Yamato processed that quickly, although it was clear by his blank expression that he still didn't fully understand it. So what if he was insulting them? They were inferior, really. No doubt they died early on in the invasion anyway - no doubt a majority of them couldn't access Nicaea to live. Out of the entirety of Japan, only a fraction of a percentage survived due to whatever drops of spiritual energy they possessed.

True, they had their use in teaching Kaito, but they still would've tried to square him into a life of meritocracy, instead of offering opportunities to rise to his full potential.

"The good in people?" Yamato felt his lips curve into a smile, the gesture warped by the lack of emotion in his eyes. "Do you honestly believe that altruism is something that isn't driven by ulterior motives? I've seen them, Kaito," his voice suddenly dropped into a flat drone, "'Good people'. They are self-serving. They may put on a friendly countenance, but there is nothing good there. It's all for their own schemes and plots - instead of challenging you directly, they seek to stab you in the back like the weak little rats they are, shifting the blame upon scapegoats, or insisting that it was all a 'misunderstanding', or trying to twist it upon yourself when caught."

It was clear that Yamato was speaking from experience here, his smile now gone with his lips pressing together in a thin white line as his eyes narrowed in disgusted anger. Politicians. He hated politicians. They patronised him the moment he claimed JP's Chief title. Tried to think they could fool or use him simply because of his young age.

Disgustingdisgustingdisgusting.

"...Yamato." It was clear from Kaito's look that he sympathized, or at least tried to. But, he steeled himself and lurched forward in the conversation.

"...Yeah." He didn't even have to think back very hard. What about Hinako, with her wanting to help because...because! People helping each other, no ulterior motive required. "I've seen people who don't have any motive except to help others. And I know you've seen it too."

"It was merely something born from circumstances," Yamato said coldly. "You are discussing those who assisted JP's during the crisis, correct? They had nothing else to do. Nowhere to go. JP's held many opportunities and advantages that none would have merely sitting in the street bemoaning their fate."

Yamato lifted his cup, sipping his coffee. He was perfectly composed when he set it down, his face that carefully blank mask once more. "It was the same for you, wasn't it? I told you then, if you want to survive you must think and act for yourselves. That is what you all did. Their acts of kindness towards others was...simply circumstance. Pity."

"You know, I'm getting really sick of you just saying what motivates people like you're some kind of mind reader. People have a million different reasons for doing any number of things and you would never know about them at all."

Kaito paused, tapping his fingers on the table while lost in thought. Then it looked like he got an idea, or at least thought of something, since his palm thunked down on the table entirely instead of just being restless.

"Do you remember if you ever asked me about civilian life? That whole thing where you were wondering what motivated me?"

"Yes," Yamato replied, sounding somewhat disinterested. "I wondered what in common life could produce someone like you. I still don't have my answer."

"And why do you think that is?"

There was a brief, stumbling pause. It was clear Yamato was a bit wrong-footed by the question.

"I...don't know," he admitted after a pause, his tone stiff.

"Exactly!" ...Kaito, what are you talking about?

"I think you'll have to figure out why you don't have the answer in the first place before you actually find the answer, you know?"

"I don't have the answer because I was not raised to be a normal person," Yamato said sharply, a bit disgruntled over this strange riddle. What on earth was Kaito blathering about? "Unless there is something else I am missing."

"No, you'd get it, even if you weren't a civy, I think." Saiduq totally got it, and he was from space!

"I mean, you know...maybe you've been looking in the wrong place."

It was clear now that Yamato was becoming openly frustrated, although it was only shown by the slight twitch of his eyebrow.

"The wrong place?"

"Yeah. Or maybe you're overlooking some things and you don't realize it, or you're thinking about it too hard."

He wasn't actually enjoying this, but it was kind of funny to see Yamato spin the gears of his mind into overdrive, looking for an answer somewhere it wasn't.

The gears of his mind were spinning into overdrive - enough so that it felt like they were going to spontaneously combust. He couldn't see it. He couldn't see what Kaito was driving towards.

He didn't understand a damned thing.

...Yamato hadn't felt more stupid in his life than he did then.

Yamato started irritably shredding the empty sugar packets apart into tiny pieces, resting his elbows on the edge of the table as he glared at the wall. It wasn't all that obvious at first, but if Kaito looked long enough, it was clear that Yamato was...

Pouting.

"...why don't you just tell me the answer instead of teasing me..."

Edited 2012-12-28 02:20 (UTC)

"I'm not teasing you! Besides, if I told you, would you actually believe me or would you just write my answer off as 'circumstance' or 'an exception'?"

You seeing his point yet?

"..." Yamato blinked, his gaze snapping back to Kaito. "Are you saying that it is something I must discover on my own?"

"Well, I was...saying you probably wouldn't believe me, but yeah, it's usually better to puzzle this stuff out."

That was true. Yamato believed more in his own deductions than someone else's anyway. Puzzle it out on his own... it seemed pointless.

"I doubt it would change my stance," Yamato said after a pause. "If I figure it out. I will only indulge in this to satisfy you."

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