Shadow Event Log

[stringmods]

▼ A Feast of Shadows

 

Who: Anyone
Where: All over the city
When: December 16-20
Summary: The Shadow Event has begun! Follow the link for the event summary and post your threads here if you want. You're still free to make network posts of your own if you'd rather do that, though!
Warnings: Characters' darkest and most shameful secrets within, along with plenty of combat. Please mark any threads that will contain triggering content appropriately, since some characters have darker secrets than others.
Music: IT'S JUST AS BILLY JOEL WARNED

Comments

[otakuro]

"..."

He doesn't answer at first, turning his gaze away once more to look off in the distance at the lights of the city.

"Hinoto-Ri..........."

Well that was clear.

"We're all here for a reason... right? But... does it really matter? Nothing I do here will count... Everyone I meet here..... will leave me."

[bondsofsuffering]

"That's kind of how it goes though, isn't it? Even outside of Hinoto-Ri, you meet people and hang out for a while, and then you move on."

Even if Hizumi's circumstances were a bit... special.

"But that's when you go and make more friends, right?"

[otakuro]

"...More friends?"

There is a heavy pause at that.

"But what's the use? They'll just go away in the end, too... All of this time... it doesn't really mean anything."

[bondsofsuffering]

"Nothing lasts forever. People disappear for their own reasons all the time. Maintaining a friendship that lasts for long is going to be hard no matter who it is."

That's just how it goes.

"But you really don't think it matters at all? Meeting the people you have. Would you really be the same person now if you hadn't?"

[otakuro]

"If we're going to forget when we go back home, then... nothing will really have changed at all."

His smile now is bleak as he looks away from the city lights back towards Hizumi.

"Even outside... even if I'm changed by meeting others... what have I ever done to help people? What will I be remembered for? Kazuya is the Hero. I'm just the sidekick."

[bondsofsuffering]

"You can't be remembered for helping people as the side kick? That's a pretty narrow-minded view."

He wasn't really intending to play psychiatrist here. When it comes down to it, he'd rather not get into other's problems when he has plenty on his own plate as it is.

And yet...

"What, exactly, are you trying to get at here? Do you really want friendship? Or are you just looking for attention?"

[otakuro]

The smile cracks open now into a distorted grin - he tilts his head down such that the shadow of his hat obscures most of his face.

"Maybe... I don't know the difference. Maybe there isn't a difference. In the end, isn't that all anyone wants?"

[bondsofsuffering]

Well that's certainly a fun expression.

"I wonder about that-! Some attention is good, but if it gets to be too much, it can get pretty troublesome."

Troublesome and dangerous.

"You're really that desperate, though?"

[otakuro]

"Desperate?"

The boy pauses for a moment before letting loose a soft laugh.

"No... If I were desperate... I would at least admit what it is I really want."

[bondsofsuffering]

"There's ways to hide just how desperate you are. I mean, as long as you smile enough, no one will suspect it, right?"

After all, people tend to make the horrific mistake of assuming everything is fine, so long as you can keep smiling through it.

[otakuro]

"That's it... almost."

He shakes his head slowly, as if in thought.

"As long as you keep smiling... no one will ever have to know the truth. What's really underneath... Fear."

[bondsofsuffering]

"Fear... because you're so scared of everyone leaving you." Not really something he's familiar with, to be honest. He's the type who goes into relationships with that assumption from the beginning, even if it's him who would be doing the leaving.

But that sort of proves Atsuro right, now doesn't it?

"...Just why are you so afraid, anyway? You can't trust those friends of yours at all?"

[otakuro]

"Trust makes you're vulnerable." He states it simply. "It's... ironic, isn't it? The thing that people fear most... is what they desire most, as well."

[bondsofsuffering]

Hah. Oh boy.

"You don't trust them. But you want them to be your friends." He says the words slowly. "If it's that way, doesn't that mean you're the one who's got to do something? You're expecting your friends to stick around even if you keep them at an arm's length. That's pretty ridiculous no matter how you look at it."

[otakuro]

"Ahaha...!"

And the laughter almost seems genuine as the boy smiles in a decidedly unwholesome manner.

"You still don't understand, huh? ...The worst way they can possibly hurt me... is by leaving. So I'll grab tight and do whatever it takes to keep that from happening.

Whatever it takes."

[bondsofsuffering]

"And if they resist so they can move on?"

Whatever it takes is a pretty vague statement, after all.