destinystrings | Shadow Event Log

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Shadow Event Log

▼ A Feast of Shadows

Who: Anyone
Where: All over the city
When: December 16-20
Summary: The Shadow Event has begun! Follow the link for the event summary and post your threads here if you want. You're still free to make network posts of your own if you'd rather do that, though!
Warnings: Characters' darkest and most shameful secrets within, along with plenty of combat. Please mark any threads that will contain triggering content appropriately, since some characters have darker secrets than others.
Music: IT'S JUST AS BILLY JOEL WARNED

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Shadow Hizumi dodges it very casually, taking a single step to the side to ensure he's out of the bullet's line of fire. Ayumu's aim had been off to begin with, so it wasn't that difficult.

It's the sensation of the blood dripping onto his skin that brings him back to full alertness right away. Ayumu had been badly hurt - it hardly takes a genius to see that. But the reason he remains there is because--

Hizumi. If that other Ayumu hits him, he really will die.

Although he doesn't move, he doesn't have to in order to summon Yaiba again. Even the Persona bears an unusual serious look as it casts its spell on his partner's counterpart.

Moves and counterattacks. That's all that this fight is right now. Taro's Shadow pins him, and he cries out, before summoning Ame-no-Uzume. She waves a fan in front of her face, and a soft glow surrounds him and the others.

"Hah!" Shadow Taro swipes at Taro's face, and he just glares back at the other, cuts appearing to vanish. "Stop that."

"You'll never save them. Just like you couldn't save -"

The Shadow doesn't get a chance to finish, because Taro jams his paw against the other's muzzle.

"I have every right. I'm him, after all. I'm just a lot more honest. Honest enough to admit that he's a coward." The words are said with a sneer. "Didn't you ever wonder why he never called you by name, Hiyono?" But the evil touch manages to hit, sending him doubling over shaking.

Even with the healing, Ayumu's still injured, and needs time to catch his breath and try to shake the pain clouding his mind away. It does not prevent him from gathering the mana to summon his persona again, however-- Kiyotaka appears again, and in a repeat of the earlier move of his own shadow, calls up a wall of light to surround the alternate Hizumi's persona.

"No, and I've never had to pay much attention to it; that's just how Narumi-san is!"

There was no time for these little debates, anyway. And besides...even though she's actually wondered about that even after spending months with him, going through things that should have broken them both, yet didn't, she has this feeling she already knows the answer.

Pothos continues her healing efforts.

"And how is Narumi-san cowardly!?" Go on, other Ayumu. Answer. She'll disprove that without hesitation.

"Shit--"

For the first time, Hizumi's Shadow looks well and truly scared. Although his Persona makes an attempt to escape the light, his movements are too late; there is a bright flash, and the Shadow falls to his knees, just barely able to muster the energy to glare at Ayumu.

"...You bastard." The words are quiet and pained. "The one who wanted me to live the most... was you. But now that I finally agreed to it... you'll kill me?"

His red-eyed gaze flickers to the original Hizumi. "You're still too scared to live. Even now... you almost let yourself be killed. You did that on purpose. You... you really thought, just for a second... that you could finally die."

On the ground, Hizumi remains silent, his breath freezing in his lungs. It's only natural that it would have noticed. But even still, his heart constricts, and it's only by gritting his teeth that he doesn't shout out in response.

"You don't deserve this life. Since you're so scared of it, you should just quit." Its breathing is ragged, but it still manages to force the words out. "If you aren't going to use this life... Give it to me instead!"

"...Shut up."

The original Hizumi's Persona tilts his head, giving an amused look before moving his arm with a sharp gesture. Suddenly, a horrific wail pierces the air, enough to make even those who are not currently struck by Fear want to cover their ears.

So naturally, Ayumu's Shadow will have to bear the brunt of it.

It's only when the sound fades that he speaks up again. "...I already know all of that. Of course I don't want to be killed, by Ayumu or his Shadow-- what did I do to deserve that kind of fate?"

His voice shakes. But he continues:

"But I can't. I want to live, but I can't. I don't want to kill people. I'd rather die before that happened."

And it's true. The thought of turning on the people in this world... There were certainly the corrupt. The foolish. But that doesn't mean he has any desire to destroy what little they have left.

"So, what do you want from me? If it's about living, fine. You're right. I want to live. Even though it makes it so much more difficult, knowing I have to be killed..."

"I... really... wished I could live."

He brings a hand to his head, in part out of weariness, and the rest to conceal the tears. Accepting that he had to die, even going so far as to try to trigger it himself-- it was so much easier than admitting that, no matter how simple it seemed. Because it meant acknowledging that there was yet one more thing he wanted, but could never, ever be allowed to grasp. Because it was a constant reminder of the cruel fate that awaited him.

The Shadow looks surprised at first, but finally lowers his head in silence. It's faint, but a small smile plays upon his lips. With no further ado, the Shadow dissipates, leaving behind no trace of its existence.

Edited 2013-12-23 22:37 (UTC)

Taro turns his head to listen, forgetting his struggle for a moment.

"Hizumi.. you'll live. I won't let anything terrible happen to you."

"You say that, and you can't even save yourself. You want to take them in, but you know you're a failure. Everything you do falls apart."

Taro looks back at his Shadow, shrinking a bit in size until he's back in his natural form. His Shadow turns into his usual disguise, picking him up by the collar.

"You're just as bad as the rest of them. Admit it! You're no hero. You never will be. Even your Persona is one of them."

He shakes his head, summoning his Persona once more to attack the two remaining Shadows.

The ghastly wail sends Ayumu’s shadow to his knees, his persona fading away. But he remains, glaring bitterly… almost fearfully at the others, like a cornered animal, his gaze growing tenser as Hizumi’s shadow fades.

Ayumu watches in surprise as Hizumi and his shadow both admit what he’d already guessed. What he’d privately confided to hoping was fact to Taro all those months ago was spoken aloud, and if it was any other situation, it would be met with some sad relief. He opens his mouth to speak, hand reaching out to rest a hand on Hizumi’s shoulder, when a bitter, trembling voice interrupts him.

“But you’re still going to ask me to kill you, aren't you?” His words are for Hizumi, but his gaze lands on Ayumu.

“And you’re never going to do it. You’re setting yourself up for more pain if you fail, but you’re never going to give up on anyone else. Isn’t that what you told Kanone Hilbert? But yourself…. You are another story.”

Ayumu stiffens at having his own words thrown back at him.

His shadow smirks at the reaction, even as he continues to tremble. “You’re scared of trying for yourself. You’re used to being unhappy… When it comes to making friends or reaching your goals and dreams… you never even try because you’re scared of losing. You lost so much to Kiyotaka, you just gave up because it hurt too much. But it was never his fault.”

“Your brother might have been an obstacle in your way, but you’re the one who kept yourself from ever being truly happy. You keep people at a distance with that bad attitude because you’re scared they’ll leave you. You never reach for your dreams because you refuse to try. Even when you could be happy, you outright refuse to let yourself reach for it. It’s the most pathetic life you could live, but you’re scared of living any other way.” The words are almost vicious in their bitterness.

“Why do you deserve to live when you’re the one running away from ever really living?”

It was a shameful way of living, and Ayumu knew it. He didn't have to hear it from some sort of doppelganger to know it was true—and he couldn't really deny it, either.

“You’re right. After a while, I just gave up. It was easier not to try. I’m still not entirely sure how to try.” He shifts, pushing himself up with both hands and standing on unstable feet, using one hand to support himself. He’s not sure how long he can keep it up, but with Hiyono’s healing he can manage. He sends his own persona towards Taro’s shadow, trying to make it drop him with an attack.

“But I’m not trying to help Hizumi as a means to an end. I’m not trying to help the Blade Children out of obligation. That’s not why.”

“I’m doing this because I want to. I’m not doing this because of some ‘fate’. I've found something I want to do… something I’m not going to give up on. If I gave up on trying for them, I’d be giving up on myself, too.” There were precious people he didn't want to lose. He wanted them to live. He wanted their happiness, more than anything else.

In it’s own way, he was seeking his own by doing so. “Maybe I am pathetic. Maybe I’ll never be able to have that kind of drive purely for myself. But I’d never be happy living only for myself, either. Maybe I can’t change that part of me that’s scared… but I’m going to try doing what I want to do.” For himself and for them. Even if it was the only thing of importance he could make happen with his own life, even if he never would have time to regain all he’d lost now, It would be more than enough.

The shadow looks surprised for a moment, before it’s expression morphs into a wistful smile, fading away.

Edited 2013-12-24 04:27 (UTC)

Hizumi's breath catches when he hears Ayumu's Shadow speaking to him. Because it's true; in the end, he would still be asking, still be pleading to die. No matter how much he wants to live, and no matter how convinced Ayumu is that there are other possibilities...

Someday, Hizumi will have to be killed by Ayumu's hand.

But for now at least... it can be put off. For now, they can just play around and have fun. There's a little time, so...

Maybe it would be worth it to enjoy it for a while. After all, the pain of being alone, whether it was because you couldn't grasp it or outright refused to--

...He'd just be putting Ayumu through the very same thing he feared the most. And after even this short time, growing close to the other, he finds himself balking at the idea. The Shadow's words only solidify those feelings.

It's as Ayumu comes to terms with his Shadow that Hizumi finally makes it to his feet, giving the other boy a short pat on the back out of support. There are things that could probably be said, but... not only would Hizumi rather not, they have other things they still need to focus on.

Namely, that last remaining Shadow.

Wordlessly, he wills his Persona to attack. They've taken down two so far; if they can just get past this third one...

Taro curls up to try to avoid the attack, and his Shadow hisses in pain, tightening his grip.

"I'm not like those other two. You don't understand how long he's been running away. The thing you don't want to admit is that you're disgusted at yourself, eh?"

Taro doesn't respond, only goes limp in the Shadow's arms.

"You've never shown them the tapes. The proof you tried to get - you sacrificed yourself for nothing."

Gold eyes narrow as the Shadow stares back at the group. "He says he's a 'good guy' - but everything he has is because of things he's taken. He stole a family's love by pretending to be their son, then stole that away from them. He's stolen money, jewels, and food. He stole away a little girl's life, when he ate her soul. He claims he doesn't want power, but he has it. He's nothing but a liar and a thief. And he hates himself. I hate him."

He looks down at Taro, who just closes his eyes. He can't deny any of this, but... but he can't help but want to struggle against it. Being caught like this... it's the worst thing.

"Even he doesn't know the real him. 'Taro Watanabe' is such a common name, it's just one he picked for himself. Just another thing he took. Lies upon lies upon lies. I'm sick of them."

Taro whimpers a little, trying to curl in on himself even more. He doesn't want this. He doesn't want everyone to see how little he really has. No no no no no. "Stop it!"

Ayumu wasn't going to let up until he saw Taro released from the shadow's grasp, and he follows Hizumi's lead and directs his persona to attack again, hoping that somehow it will loosen his grip. The words of the shadow are impossible to ignore... as is Taro's fear.

"I don't know about any of that stuff in your past, but you've helped us both, you know. Or are you saying that's a lie, too?" That he hated those things he'd done were indication enough that there was more than what the shadow said to the story.

She'd been too busy dealing with the screeching wail that resounded throughout the area really notice what had happen to Hizumi's Shadow, but it wasn't hard for her to notice what had gone on after the other Ayumu was brought down. Was all that true? Had he come to the same logic that he did by the time he confronted Hizumi at Tokyo Tower? Was he going to create that same 'Spiral' destiny once they all dealt with this Persona business?

Hiyono certainly hoped so, deep down -- even if she wouldn't dare show it out of fear of damaging the situation.

Nevertheless, she broke her trend of constant healing, and ran up to the Shadow.

"I don't know you too well, personally, but--" Slipped out a certain taser. "--that's no reason to be afraid! Not when you have the chance to change all of that, here, and now!" Tried jabbing it right into said Shadow's side.

Eat bear killer electricity.

"Well, that makes two of us liars, then." Although Hizumi smiles, it's a rather twisted one. "...Sometimes, it's more of a survival instinct. A way to keep yourself from going insane. It can't always be helped."

It wasn't like he hid things from others entirely for their own benefit. While that was definitely part of it, it was also simply that he couldn't stand to think about it on such a constant basis. It made it so easy, wrapping everything he said in lies, acting as though everything was fine.

Constantly confronting the truth is just too much for him to bear.

But he'd been able to find strength in others despite that. Even though he tried his damnedest to keep them out of it, they still managed to worm their way in. And he's still terribly uncomfortable with the idea, to be honest, but... Even if it's just a little...

"Ayumu and I, at least-- you know you don't need to hide it from us. I tried that too, but obviously it didn't work out too well, did it?"

Sputtering and stammering out the truth of his life, back then. Taro should remember that as well.

"And he'd try to save you even if you turned out to be the worst murderer in the history of the world, I'm sure." He nods at Ayumu beside him. "If you regret it so much... That means you, at least, can change. Right?"

Despite the well-meant words, Hizumi's pity for the Shadow are considerably less than what he feels for Taro. His Shadow seems to take no issue with casting a spell aimed at Shadow Taro even in the midst of Hizumi's talking.

Between the attacks and the shouting, the Shadow drops Taro firmly on the ground. He crawls away towards the others, fur smoking a little bit. The Shadow just sighs, crossing his arms.

"Hiding behind people. Typical."

"... Shut up." Taro turns to the Shadow, shaking his head. "Just... stop. I... whatever. I lied. I hate myself. Are you happy? It doesn't matter anymore, though."

He waddles over in front of the group, planting himself firmly. "I died. but I'm not dead here. I have another life - one where I don't have to hide. The past is important... but I can't change any of that anymore, can I? I just have the future."

The Shadow looks at each of them in turn, before closing his eyes. "And the lying?"

"... Well. Sometimes that happens. But then things go on, and you're forgiven. I don't want or need power anymore. I'm happy with what I have."

The Shadow smiles faintly, before his shape changes. Ame-no-Uzume looks down at them, and then vanishes.

Taro sighs and flops to the ground, closing his eyes.

"... So tired..."

Ayumu smiles faintly at both Hizumi and Taro's words, watching as the shadow changes and vanishes. There were a lot of things he could say to everything said during the fight, questions and assurances. Hizumi was right-- as long as you have regrets, you could transform those into change, make something greater of yourself and the world around you. People who had made mistakes were the ones with the real power to make change.

But right now, talk wasn't something they needed, weaknesses exposed and raw from the fight. Maybe later, if they felt like it, which Ayumu had a feeling none of them would, but for now... now it was over. They could rest. He sinks to the ground, not keen on letting himself lean against the wall with a bit more dignity with his back still sore.

"I think that goes for all of us....."

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Shadow Event Log

Evil Touch > Shadow Ayumu (Fear status)

Masukukaja > Ayumu, Hiyono, Hizumi, Taro (Agility up 25% for 1 turn)

Hama > Shadow Hizumi

Media again > Hizumi, Taro, Ayumu

Ghastly Wail > All (Affects only Shadow Ayumu)

Gale Slash > Shadow Taro and Shadow Ayumu (small Phys)

Muzzle Shot > Shadow Taro

Cleave > Shadow Taro

no subject

Muzzle Shot > Shadow Taro

Taser > Shadow Taro

Evil Touch > Shadow Taro

no subject

no subject