I am the thief and you will run

[primordial]

Who: Sam Erstwhile and EVERYONE.
Where: In your house, then the middle of Capricorn District.
Summary: Sam Erstwhile is affected by the TRIHARDO curse, and promptly decides that everyone has way too much stuff. Thieving shenanigans ensue.
Warnings: T for taking stuff that is not his!!!!!

PART A: IN YOUR HOUSE/APARTMENT

[It's just an ordinary day for all of the residents in Hinoto-Ri. It's time to sit back, relax, try out stuff in your closet, read a book...whatever you normally do.]

[However, you are not alone. There's someone else there, an intruder, and he is coming to take what he believes you really do not need. He's being very good at it, though- he's found a mask to disguise himself, and he's wearing gloves to carefully pilfer through your things without leaving a trace. However, it's not just gold and jewelry he wants. That television? He's taking it. That collection of CDs by that teenage singer you really like? No longer yours. Your secret stash of porn/yaoi magazines/body pillows? It's all his now. You have too much of it.]

[Maybe it's time to stop him before he runs out with your stuff. How did he even get in here without you even noticing, anyways?]


PART B: CAPRICORN DISTRICT

[Where is all that stuff going, you might wonder? Well, out in the most vacant of districts. Because, honestly, he has no need of this stuff at all. So, time to dump it.]

[People coming to the district will be treated to quite the bizarre sight; there are tall piles of things; furniture, books, pieces of machinery, you name it. And sitting on top of it all, unmasked, is a pathetic-looking young man who seems to have been the source of it all. How did he get all this stuff out here by himself? Why is he doing this? You'll just have to ask him to find out the answers.]

Comments

B!

[tenthtrump]

[She's followed the clues as best she can. IT HAS ALL LED TO THIS MOMENT. She's not exactly sure why she's so determined to solve this case, but she just HAS to.

She arrives in the Capricorn district, and recognizes the guy from the photo someone posted on the network. And, sure enough, he's surrounded by piles upon piles of things that she's certain have been stolen.

She draws her revolver and levels her aim at him.]

Put your hands up where I can see them!

[ur under arrest, dude.]

[primordial]

[Oh, this isn't good. Sam lets the comic book he's been reading drop to the mess of stuff below him, moving himself to a standing position on top of one of the piles he's been sitting on for the last hour or so.]

H-hey! You don't...you don't need to shoot, okay?

[Really, he doesn't care if he's shot or not. He's already thinking of ways to escape, but his wide, seemingly scared eyes are only focused on her.]

What's going on?

[tenthtrump]

[She watches him very closely, and doesn't lower her gun.]

There was a message on the network that you've been stealing from the other people here, and it looks like you're sitting on the evidence.

[Quite literally, until he stood up, that is.]

I'm going to be turning you in.

[primordial]

I haven't been stealing, I've been helping other people! Why is that so hard to understand?

[A groan. Great. Now he's going to arrested like some common criminal. Like he'll let that happen.]

I don't want to be turned in...please, lady, just go away, I'm trying to be the good guy here.

[Also, totally not budging from his place up here. Come and get him. >BI]

[tenthtrump]

You're trying to be a good guy, but you confess to taking these items without permission?

[What a contradiction.]

You're not being logical about this. Come down, and we can discuss this further at Police Headquarters.

[primordial]

H-hey! I didn't confess to anything! Stop assuming things, okay?

[He shakes his head, pouting.]

No. I didn't do anything wrong. You can't arrest me.

[tenthtrump]

I found you sitting atop a pile of stolen belongings, and there's a message on the network regarding your activities.

That's more than enough evidence.

[primordial]

First? That message is a lie. That wasn't me. The guy in the photograph had a mask, okay? Do I look like I have a mask?

And I just found this! I thought it was like an art installation or something. Do you really think I could carry all this big furniture and other stuff by myself here? Really?

[tenthtrump]

It is improbable that you would be able to, I'll admit.

[She lowers the gun.]

Unless you had an accomplice.

[primordial]

[He relaxes at the gun being lowered, though he looks miserable at what he has to say next:]

...I can barely make friends. What makes you think I can even get someone to do something as stupid as this for me?