I am the thief and you will run

[primordial]

Who: Sam Erstwhile and EVERYONE.
Where: In your house, then the middle of Capricorn District.
Summary: Sam Erstwhile is affected by the TRIHARDO curse, and promptly decides that everyone has way too much stuff. Thieving shenanigans ensue.
Warnings: T for taking stuff that is not his!!!!!

PART A: IN YOUR HOUSE/APARTMENT

[It's just an ordinary day for all of the residents in Hinoto-Ri. It's time to sit back, relax, try out stuff in your closet, read a book...whatever you normally do.]

[However, you are not alone. There's someone else there, an intruder, and he is coming to take what he believes you really do not need. He's being very good at it, though- he's found a mask to disguise himself, and he's wearing gloves to carefully pilfer through your things without leaving a trace. However, it's not just gold and jewelry he wants. That television? He's taking it. That collection of CDs by that teenage singer you really like? No longer yours. Your secret stash of porn/yaoi magazines/body pillows? It's all his now. You have too much of it.]

[Maybe it's time to stop him before he runs out with your stuff. How did he even get in here without you even noticing, anyways?]


PART B: CAPRICORN DISTRICT

[Where is all that stuff going, you might wonder? Well, out in the most vacant of districts. Because, honestly, he has no need of this stuff at all. So, time to dump it.]

[People coming to the district will be treated to quite the bizarre sight; there are tall piles of things; furniture, books, pieces of machinery, you name it. And sitting on top of it all, unmasked, is a pathetic-looking young man who seems to have been the source of it all. How did he get all this stuff out here by himself? Why is he doing this? You'll just have to ask him to find out the answers.]

Comments

A

[devilchild]

[Setsna's apartment is sparse, and he keeps mainly the essentials. For him, that includes a gun-like object that clearly should not be in a child's possessions.]

Put that back.

[How does an eight-year old's voice get that cold anyway?]

[primordial]

[He just stares. What is a kid doing here? And with an object like that? Geez, he is really doing this boy a service by taking this off his hands.]

[He shakes his head, backing away towards the window.]

No.

[devilchild]

You'll regret it. Put it down now, and you probably won't get hurt.

[Setsuna advances toward him.]

[primordial]

[And he only backs away, coming closer to that window- really, no matter how far it is away from the ground, he can handle it.]

Why? What are you going to do? You're not even old enough to have this, anyways.

[devilchild]

[In response, Setsuna pulls out... another gun. He doesn't always keep both the DeviRiser and the KingRiser on his person, but he would be stupid not to keep one.

When he pulls the trigger, a golden pentacle appears, and from it emerges a demon in a clap of thunder.]

Zeus-

[He hardy needs to say anything. Enjoy the Zionga to the face.]

A

[tyrantball]

Desco is just sort of staring.

"...Big Bro, what are you doing?"

Seriously. Why are you even in Desco's candy stash?

[primordial]

[BECAUSE OF REASONS, DESCO. GOOD REASONS.]

You have way too much of this stuff! It's taking up space!

[WHY IS HE WEARING A MASK AROUND HER SHE KNOWS WHO HE IS GOSH DARN IT]

[tyrantball]

"If Big Bro wants candy, there's plenty in his room!"

Pouting now.

"Which he would KNOW if he ever bothered to actually use it..."

[primordial]

Hey, if it was just you and me, it'd be fine. I don't want to be in the same place as your uncles. One kind of tried to beat me up and kill me, remember?

[He shoves the mask back on the top of his had- it gets kind of hard to breathe with it, honestly.]

No, I'm just trying to clear up space. I promise I won't take all of it. I can't even eat candy, anyways...

A

[bondsofsuffering]

[Hey no taking any of those super fatty and obviously unnecessary foods is way not cool.

Don't mind Hizumi snapping a picture real quick before speaking up.]

Why are you trying to steal my food?

[primordial]

[Wow no he did not ask for the paparazzi. He lets out an exasperated sigh, going to the window which he apparently climbed in a few minutes ago. When he speaks, his voice is muffled, thankfully, by the mask.]

You have too much of it.

[bondsofsuffering]

[Indignantly:] I was stocking up!

[You can bet he's following and making a grab for Sam. It's hard to say how it'll go-- he's surprisingly fast, but it's still a human's speed.]

[primordial]

Sure you are-

[WHOAH THERE SON SLOW DOWN. In his reaction to Hizumi's sudden movement, he drops some of those snacks and curses under his breath. Ugh. He'll have to leave those be.]

Hey! Hey, I'm taking this and there's nothing you can do, okay? See you never.

[Annnnnd he'll just open the window and jump out, regardless of how many floors this apartment actually is located above.]

A

[doesasordered]

[EVIL IS AFOOT. Nikolai Volkov knows it. He knows it when he sees the man sneaking out of a Scorpio Ward home, clearly making off with their valuables!

Sam is caught by a man dressed in a suit done all in shades of red. He holds out a pistol aimed at Sam and calls out to him.]

You there, sir! Drop that bag immediately!

[primordial]

[His gaze looks at the pistol, and he almost looks bored. Really? A gun? He just shakes his head, continuing to walk away as if nothing of importance has happened.]

Why should I?

[doesasordered]

Do I even need to say? You're exiting a home through a window carrying a bag. Those are not your items. Set them down and step away, and I will not have to resort to violence, young lad. [Yes he just called you "young lad". Just roll with it.]

[primordial]

You're very scary. I'm quaking in the boots I don't have.

[And young lad? Really? He resists the urge to roll his eyes, and then without any warning, breaks into a sprint to get away.]

[CATCH ME IF YOU CAN.]

[selematpagi]

[ Of course Yukko was finishing up in the shower when Sam decided to break in.

She has her clothes on if that makes the situation less embarassing! The important part is that she suddenly busts through the bathroom door, a towel tangled between her hair, and freezes the second she sees a stranger in the living room. ]

G... Gyuhh...

[ That's not Nano, not at all! Also that mask is incredibly creepy. ]

W-Who the hell are you?!

[primordial]

[WOW THIS IS REALLY AN AWKWARD MOMENT but to be honest, he doesn't really care. His visible dark eyes flit between her and the sack of stuff he's holding.]

I'm taking what you have too much of.

[selematpagi]

Ohh. . .

[ She blinks, trying to really possess what the stranger actually said... ]

No, wait, what?

[ She juts her hand out, pointing an accusatory finger! ]

Hey! Put all that stuff down. I need them!

[primordial]

No, you don't.

[He lets out a sigh, as if exasperated with the thought of having to stay here any long, and makes his way to the window to open it, muttering to himself.]

Sheesh, everybody keeps complaining...

B!

[tenthtrump]

[She's followed the clues as best she can. IT HAS ALL LED TO THIS MOMENT. She's not exactly sure why she's so determined to solve this case, but she just HAS to.

She arrives in the Capricorn district, and recognizes the guy from the photo someone posted on the network. And, sure enough, he's surrounded by piles upon piles of things that she's certain have been stolen.

She draws her revolver and levels her aim at him.]

Put your hands up where I can see them!

[ur under arrest, dude.]

[primordial]

[Oh, this isn't good. Sam lets the comic book he's been reading drop to the mess of stuff below him, moving himself to a standing position on top of one of the piles he's been sitting on for the last hour or so.]

H-hey! You don't...you don't need to shoot, okay?

[Really, he doesn't care if he's shot or not. He's already thinking of ways to escape, but his wide, seemingly scared eyes are only focused on her.]

What's going on?

[tenthtrump]

[She watches him very closely, and doesn't lower her gun.]

There was a message on the network that you've been stealing from the other people here, and it looks like you're sitting on the evidence.

[Quite literally, until he stood up, that is.]

I'm going to be turning you in.

[primordial]

I haven't been stealing, I've been helping other people! Why is that so hard to understand?

[A groan. Great. Now he's going to arrested like some common criminal. Like he'll let that happen.]

I don't want to be turned in...please, lady, just go away, I'm trying to be the good guy here.

[Also, totally not budging from his place up here. Come and get him. >BI]