I am the thief and you will run

[primordial]

Who: Sam Erstwhile and EVERYONE.
Where: In your house, then the middle of Capricorn District.
Summary: Sam Erstwhile is affected by the TRIHARDO curse, and promptly decides that everyone has way too much stuff. Thieving shenanigans ensue.
Warnings: T for taking stuff that is not his!!!!!

PART A: IN YOUR HOUSE/APARTMENT

[It's just an ordinary day for all of the residents in Hinoto-Ri. It's time to sit back, relax, try out stuff in your closet, read a book...whatever you normally do.]

[However, you are not alone. There's someone else there, an intruder, and he is coming to take what he believes you really do not need. He's being very good at it, though- he's found a mask to disguise himself, and he's wearing gloves to carefully pilfer through your things without leaving a trace. However, it's not just gold and jewelry he wants. That television? He's taking it. That collection of CDs by that teenage singer you really like? No longer yours. Your secret stash of porn/yaoi magazines/body pillows? It's all his now. You have too much of it.]

[Maybe it's time to stop him before he runs out with your stuff. How did he even get in here without you even noticing, anyways?]


PART B: CAPRICORN DISTRICT

[Where is all that stuff going, you might wonder? Well, out in the most vacant of districts. Because, honestly, he has no need of this stuff at all. So, time to dump it.]

[People coming to the district will be treated to quite the bizarre sight; there are tall piles of things; furniture, books, pieces of machinery, you name it. And sitting on top of it all, unmasked, is a pathetic-looking young man who seems to have been the source of it all. How did he get all this stuff out here by himself? Why is he doing this? You'll just have to ask him to find out the answers.]

Comments

[primordial]

[Sam is actually a very fast runner! Probably because he's more lanky than anything else. He's just trying to throw the guy off his track, swerving into tiny alleyways and jumping over obstacles on his way back to the Capricorn District.]

You're kind of slow, aren't you?

[doesasordered]

[It sucks being 5'8" sometimes. No long legs to run with. But he does keep up better than you'd think. He's chased down a lot of people in his time. He's done this old dodge and weave routine all over the five boroughs. At one point he'll scoop up a discarded bottle and chuck it at Sam's head, hopefully quick enough to hit and slow him down.]

[primordial]

[It does manage to graze the back of his head, and Sam lets out a pained yelp, though he's still running, though not as fast as he was before due to him rubbing that area with his free hand.]

H-hey! Stop that!! That hurt!

[doesasordered]

Then stop running! Drop the items! [Nik try his best to catch up while Sam is slowed.]

[primordial]

What? No!

[He grits his teeth- at this rate, he might be caught- and, thinking quickly, he knocks down a few nearby trash cans behind him just so there will be a few obstacles in Nik's way.]

[doesasordered]

Christine!

[Hey, that's not your name. Nik's not sure how else to stop him, since he's falling behind in the obstacles. But suddenly, there's the angry sound of a revving V6 engine and its heat coming from behind Sam now. You might want to look out. There's a Persona barreling towards you in the form of a fast-moving car. Nik grabs on and hops on to the hood.]

[primordial]

Christine...?

[He's about to say, that's a weird name to call him, but...okay, wow, no, getting run over by a car is NOT what he wants!]

[He dives to the side just before it hits him, because he's not nearly fast enough to outrun it, and stumbles onto the ground, his bag dropping and spilling a few of its contents.]

[...Better get to him now while you still have a chance, Nik.]

[doesasordered]

[The persona fades away, and Nik rolls deftly to the ground. He's coming towards Sam with a pair of cuffs he's produced from his jacket pocket. Time for a citizens arrest! He may not be a big guy, but he's strong. He's going to make a grab for Sam's arms while he's trying to get up, to slap some cuffs on him.]

SORRY FOR LATENESS

[primordial]

[Sam is still reeling from the sudden movement, and he lets out a yelp when his hand is cuffed.]

H-hey! Are you arresting me...?! Hold on, this isn't fair!