destinystrings | Apartment Log [OPEN TO ALL]

Entry tags:

Apartment Log [OPEN TO ALL]

Who: EVERYONE
Where: APARTMENTS ~~CAN'T YOU READ THE TITLE~~ PIECES AND LIBRA
Summary: Massive Open Apartment Log (October 3rd - 9th)
Warnings: Rooms and stuff!

[OOC - Open Apartment Log! Talk to your neighbors, make new CR, ~~get hit on~~ get hit on.

You can find the master list of apartments [RIGHT HERE!]

Starting this week, the apartments also now have TELEPORTERS! These allow you to go from one apartment facility to the other.

They can be found in LEVEL 4 and are big enough to accommodate everyone (but maximum 5 at a time). However, due to the fact that they are still in the testing phase, you may find yourself appearing in the wrong part of the 4th level in the other building -- and that does include above the swimming pool. Hope you like water! (Thankfully this doesn't happen most of the time...most of the time.)

Start your thread with your character's name and their room number. You can always add what they might be doing, or just leave it open for other people to come in. Others then reply to them with the date that they come in and let the CR begin. Fun times are had by all!]

LIBRA
Kanji Tatsumi | 5-01 ◆ Elizabeth Middleford | 5-02 ◆ Kanaya Maryam | 5-03 ◆ Guybrush | 5-04 ◆ Daichi Shijima | 5-05 ◆ Atsuro Kihara | 5-07 ◆ Misery | 5-09 ◆ Yu Narukami | 5-10

Kohta | 6-01 ◆ Ludwig Beilschmidt | 6-03 ◆ Theodore | 6-05 ◆ Barnaby Brooks Jr. | 6-07 ◆ Ruri Hoshino - 6-09

Yamato Hotsuin | 7-02 ◆ Minako Arisato | 7-04 ◆ Simon | 7-05 ◆ Shinjiro Aragaki | 7-06

8-06 | Santa ◆ Latooni Suvota | 8-07 ◆ Sogiita Gunha | 8-08 ◆ Virgil Klima | 8-09 ◆ Miki Sanada | 8-10

Pit | 9-01 ◆ Neku Sakuraba | 9-02 ◆ Nessiah | 9-04 ◆ Minato Arisato [AU2] | 9-06

PISCES
Sasha Fyer | 5-01 ◆ Clive Dove | 5-02 ◆ Link (of Skyloft) | 5-07 ◆ Link (OoT) | 5-08

Ahri | 6-02 ◆ Minato Arisato | 6-04 ◆Elizabeth | 6-06 ◆ Torahime | 6-09

Eikichi Mishina | 7-02 ◆ Naoya (DeSu) | 7-05 ◆ Garviel Loken, 7-07 ◆ Nicholas Reeve | 7-08

Asem Asuno | 8-01 ◆ Kaito | 8-02 ◆ Arturia Pendragon | 8-06 ◆ Duo Maxwell | 8-08 ◆ Alice Margatroid | 8-09 ◆ Aigis | 8-10

Kazuya Minegishi | 9-02 ◆ Hito "Kiku Hisao" Shura | 9-03 ◆ Sasuke Sagami | 9-04 ◆ Meetra Surik | 9-06

OTHER
Al Saiduq | Everywhere since he has no room

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Never. The moron had just conquered the distance between the two balconies like it was a level on a platformer. Obstacles mean little to her.]

It doesn't ma—

[And then his posture goes completely and abruptly rigid, every muscle in him suddenly taut and strained with sudden stress. The reaction seems almost defensive, like someone far bigger and stronger than he is has jerked him forward, disturbing whatever equilibrium he possessed, and he's now struggling to find solid ground again in a world made completely of air. His eyes flicker sharply down at her, eyes dilated. He's barely aware of her hugging him at all.]

He what? [There's no relief there. Not yet. Only surprise and distressed disbelief, like everything he's hearing is a lie or some kind of auditory illusion, and he knows it, even though he wants it to so badly to be true, but knows it can't be. Because why would someone who had his mother taken away want to forgive someone like him? Amada had hated him, wanted him dead, and rightly so. That at least had made sense. This doesn't. Forgiveness was something he knew better than to ask anyone for.

He steps back, almost slides down onto the bed, but remembering that Minako's still there, he doesn't move any further. Keeps his legs resolutely locked.]

Why would he—

Edited 2012-10-04 17:50 (UTC)

[It's not quite the reaction she was aiming for, but it's a start. She pulls back and looks up at him again.]

Because he listened to what you told him.

[Now that Minako's not completely attached to him, he carefully takes another few steps backwards and sits at the very end of the bed near her bag. He shakes his head.]

Stupid kid.

[He had never believed words would or could change anything—at least when it came to this. Couldn't change what happened. Saying he was sorry didn't mean much in comparison to what had happened. Hard to balance the scales when there was a dead body weighing one side down. From then on, the scales were always a skewed to one side, and that side had always been heavy. When he had thought he was dying, he had hoped his own corpse would be able to almost set things to rights.

Something in his voice is a little bit broken again, a single loose cog in the gears, though otherwise it runs as it usually does.]

...I never asked him to.

Of course not.

[She sits down next to him, for once not trying to lean against him or touch him at all. She'll wait for him to be ready for affection again.]

You saved him so he could make his own decisions.

He's a stronger person than I am then.

[Though Shinjiro's always known that. The kid's had to deal with living the sort of life he should have never had to. Ken's had to exist in a world that he saw his mother get murdered in, surrounded by adults who never once believed him, all the while wondering if maybe he was better off dead. He hopes Ken's mother is proud of him, wherever she's watching him from.

Shinjiro's still not strong enough to forgive himself, but it helps a little to know that someone else can. Makes the pain a little bit duller.]

He's a good kid.

Edited 2012-10-04 23:14 (UTC)

[She's not even going to comment on the first part, because she thinks Shinjiro is plenty strong, in his own way. He just won't let himself admit to it.]

That he is.

[Now she turns to look sideways at him. Maybe it's her imagination, but he looks a little less gruff after that conversation.]

...So. If you really want me to leave, I'll go, but I'd still rather stay with you.

[Part of him wants nothing more than to see her walk out his apartment door. Part of him wants nothing more than to have her spend her day with someone else, because, in the end, he never wanted to expose her to his problems. He has plenty. It's a lot of baggage, even if he were to ever allow the burden to be split into two, which is something he will probably never do. The problems he has are his. They're made up of mistakes he's made and things he's done that are his and his alone to take responsibility for. They shouldn't be anyone else's—let alone hers—to bear for even half a second. He never wanted that.

He likes it best when she laughs. When he knows she's she's out there somewhere, living the kind of life she earned for herself a long time ago. It's the kind of life she deserves, and it's supposed to be a happy one. She should be out there now with her brother, not doing stupid, childish things. She shouldn't be negotiating her way across two balconies because he refused to let her in the door. She should be out there in the sun somewhere, not in this tiny, enclosed space. He can see the city just outside his window. That's where she should be right now.

He can handle the self-imposed isolation, because that's what he's always done. It comes almost automatic now, to push rather than pull. He's dealt with this day before. It shouldn't be her concern or problem. So maybe she should leave so it doesn't have to be.

But another part of him wants her to stay right here. It's confusing. It's half of why he hadn't let her through the door. He didn't want her here, yet he did. And he knows as soon as she leaves, he'll miss her. It's a damn strange feeling when taking into account everything else. To want to be alone—because today the demons that he sees are his to endure—but not at all, because at the end of the day, he never really wanted to be alone—it was just better for everyone else that way, so he might as well learn to be lonely. But now he might as well just accept his fate as Schrodinger's cat at this rate: to be both but either but neither, all at the same time. See how that goes.

The only solution, then, was to not put himself into a situation where this would become a problem. And he walked right into it. Or she did, rather. And stupidly, he might add (and will always add). All he can do now is look over at her, smile a smile devoid of any emotion really, and be honest.]

I want you to go. But I want you to stay. So stay, if you want.

[She sighs at that, but smiles back. Unlike in his there's genuine fondness there. He always makes things so complicated. ...But that's why she keeps chasing him. If he ever became fully normal and easy to deal with he wouldn't be Shinji anymore.]

I brought something, if you feel like it.

[That seems to be her answer on staying or going. She reaches behind him to open her bag and pulls out a DVD case. Also visible in the bag now is her laptop. She'd figured he wouldn't have a television.]

[A movie?

He scrutinizes the cover, and shrugs, face impassive.

Not that he doesn't see that there are animals on that cover.]

If that's what you want to watch, it's fine.

[He guesses they can set the up the laptop on bed. Or move the desk over.]

[She just gives him a look. Still pretending this is 'her' type of movie even now?]

It was this or cooking shows, and I didn't think those would be very cathartic.

[He can do what he wants. She brought it over. She took him to the last one. He's just bracing himself, that's all, because this set-up is completely on purpose.]

You'd be surprised.

[He doesn't think she understands how traumatizing burned food can be. Or when someone who's an otherwise good cook does something completely asinine with their food.]

Maybe I would.

[Next time she'll rent a box set of 'Chopped.'

Either way, though.... her own taste in film is pretty eclectic. She went to every day of the film festival while it was going on, but he's still the one who ~~almost~~ cried over tiny animals.]

I'll set it up, then. [Maybe on the desk? There isn't really another choice, so she does that and starts the DVD.]

[If you can't say you at least felt like crying when those puppies were washed away then you have no heart.

But he nods, and while she sets up her laptop, he busies himself, closing the curtains and setting her bag off to the side the bed, straightening the covers and propping up the two pillows he has against the headboard. When she starts the DVD, he sits back onto the bed, leaning against the headboard, keeping to the side so she has enough room to lay by him. When he hears the beginning narration though, all he can do is send a very long, accusing look in her direction.

Not only was it an animal movie. But a talking animal movie. This was just going to turn into another Koneko Monogatari. Completely doomed at the start, except he's not six years old anymore.]

Edited 2012-10-06 00:02 (UTC)

[Halfway through setting things up she suddenly remembers the shoes outside the door, which sends her dashing off to retrieve them. He probably doesn't want her presence in his room to be too obvious to everyone passing by.

She's back probably before he can wonder where she went, and presses play. Then she curls up next to him on the bed. He did leave her plenty of space, but she seems to be pretending there isn't, because she's wound up quite close to him.

Then he gives her that look.]

What?

Edited 2012-10-06 00:49 (UTC)

[She may or may not be correct in her assumptions, but for all her gallant efforts, Miki's probably all ready noticed. She's far nosier than her brother is and ever could be, and is probably shadowing his every footstep like a hawk.]

I think you know what.

[Judging by that face of hers. She seems to be getting a kick out of manipulating his emotions today. Not that they weren't already agitated enough to begin with—like touching skin already torn raw. But that's her way, and after a minute of clear thought, he pulls her closer to him. If she's going to ignore the space he left for her, then space might as well not exist at all. He's not going to fight her—and that half of him still does want her company.]

You'll miss the movie.

[This is an excuse, but she's taking it with a grin. She also accepts his arm and snuggles against his shoulder as the animals begin their journey. If she were feeling metaphorical, she might compare their own situation. They'd come a long way together but there was still a long way left to go.

Whatever you think of talking animals, sometimes it's good to be a little childish. They are both still kids, as hard as that is to remember most of the time.]

[He'll never fully admit to never outgrowing animals period. Talking or not. He might as well be seven years old again, gathered around the old TV, watching a movie with the other kids in the orphanage, telling them to shut up so he can listen to the talking animals talk.

It's not difficult for him to fall silent and settle back and watch the film—hard not to pay attention when the film opens with a dog narrating how he was abandoned when he was young, living on the streets, only to finally be taken in by some kind-hearted people. Given a roof to live under, even though he knew the home wasn't his. There had been three of them then, too.

Damn movie.

He watches as the animals are introduced. When they're left at the farm, confused (though they shouldn't be—that family was going to come back for them), groaning inwardly when the three make their escape and head into the wilderness. But they don't turn back. Just keep going. They should have just stayed where they were, but of course they don't. Run away from a bear. Then they finally come to the river and he stiffens automatically, because rivers and animal movies are never a good thing from his experience.

Maybe he'll just. Lean back. Close his eyes. And pretend to be asleep. He can see where this is going. Not that Minako would probably buy it for a moment, regardless of whether or not she would pretend to. But then the cat slips into the river.

This is supposed to be a kids' movie, isn't it? But that's just an excuse on his part.

But... why is there a waterfall here?

why is there a waterfall in this movie?

wasn't the river enough? at least let the two dogs rescue her, you cold-hearted bastards. don't let her drown. she's scared enough as it is, and the older dog's trying so hard to get to her. she's just a—

oh goddammit.

...why would you do that?

shit.]

[If she'd known he was going to compare everything in the talking animal movie to his own life, she would have picked something else. But she actually hasn't seen this one before; she just saw it had talking animals and was apparently well reviewed.

She glances over at Shinji as the poor cat goes over the waterfall.

...Yep. That's about what she expected.]

[Well, he hopes she's happy, because his eyes are probably going to become as red as hers are naturally by the time the movie's done.

But given this film's status as family-friendly fare, it doesn't take long for the scene to change and the siamese cat to be found alive by an old man—which is as much of a relief to Shinjiro as it likely was to every kid in the theatre when the movie first premiered. He follows the storyline as the three animals are reunited. Watches them as they find a little girl lost in the woods. How the oldest dog leads a rescue party to her, and how it looks like they just might get home all right, because the human family never had never stopped looking for them. But it wouldn't be a movie if things didn't go a little awry, and animals are soon on their own again.

But unlike the beginning of the film, they do eventually find their way home. Or almost. Until the older dog falls into the pit and they can't get him out. And for as much as Shinjiro can guess that everything will turn out okay, he still feels the movie manipulating with his emotions like they were all easy-to-reach buttons to press. He knows at this point the likely ending, but it's hard not to empathize (and, you know, what if he doesn't?) All they wanted was to go home, really, and be with the people they cared about. That's what most people in this world want, in the end. Just simple things. To be able to go home at the end of the day and know that the people you care about are there and waiting for you.

So when the cat and the younger dog finally stumble their way into the backyard they had left not so long ago, there's an almost palapable sense of relief. But there's a void there, too, for the brief minute when it looks like the older dog might not come home. At least this family will miss him if he was really gone. The older dog had done everything that he needed to do, and it was easy to recognize that, even though it didn't seem right or fair. But, eventually, the world corrects the wrong and the older dog comes limping in, and it makes him smile a little to see it, as much as his eyes sting and his throat feels a little tighter than before.

It's a pity everyone just can't come home.

He wipes at his eyes with the arm that's not currently occupied in holding someone else, like he was just simply brushing hair away and nothing more.

Screw sentimentality.]

[Minako, for her part, does not laugh at his reaction... probably because the movie has actually got her a little bit emotionally, too. She's not a brick wall like some people in her family.

As the credits roll, though, she ducks her head under his arm to let him think she hasn't noticed what he's doing. This also has the effect of hiding her smile... and the way her eyes are a little bit brighter than usual.

There's nothing wrong with that.]

[He's not sure how Minato would feel being compared to a brick wall, but at the moment, Shinjiro wouldn't mind being a little bit more of one himself. His eyes catch her movement easily enough, but he looks away. If she wants to pretend she hasn't noticed anything, then he'll be glad to pretend he's also a little bit blind. He'd glad she's willing to let a few of the things he does seemingly slip by her, because this is not the type of person he's built himself up to be. It's weird and embarrassing to be thrown off kilter—by a few animals, no less. And unlike at the movie theatre, he doesn't exactly have a place to run to. You'd think eighteen years would be enough time to build up a more solid emotional resistance. After the fire, he had started to see the person he needed to become. And he's still pretty damn sure that the person he saw wasn't supposed to cry over a silly animal movie. He can only stubbornly blink and imagine that his veins are coated with iron.

It's almost too easy to keep quiet. Like the movie was still going. Let an hour in a half turn into two, maybe. Or three. But now that it's over, he can register the sound of rain coming from outside the balcony. Going to be that kind of day, huh?

Eventually, though, he'll sigh, try to collect all his nerves into a bundle and attempt to mentally sear their endings down like they were rope, until they're no longer as frayed as he feels. Then look over at the cause of a small but significant portion of his distress today.]

Cathartic, huh? Is that what you'd call it?

[He's not sure if he should allow her to choose their movies anymore. He can only hope it's dark enough that she can still pretend not to see even the faintest hint of red on him.]

[If he'd voiced any of those thoughts, to be honest... she'd understand perfectly. She'd dealt with that herself since the accident. The disconnect from who you are, and who you want to be... She'd perfected her own mask. She stopped discussing her past sometime in grade school because she learned that bringing up tragedy only invites it to continue. The more she dwelled on what she'd never get back, the less she could be the happy person she wanted to be. And so by burying it, she finally found that happiness.

The difference between them is that she buried to forget, while he buried to remember, over and over, the things he wishes he could change. And that, she thinks, is not healthy. But maybe the same techniques she's used will work for him all the same.]

Mm-hm... if you can't let out your emotions directly... find another way, instead. Like a movie with a happy ending.

[Things got bad, and then worked out again. Just like life. It's just harder to see without narration.

Her eyes move to the glass porch door, the rectangle of light grey and red from the storm overhead and the first touch of sunset. Time had passed, from afternoon to evening, but not enough to truly call it night. But yes, with the room lights off and the computer screen dark for the credit reel, she can pretend not to notice the blush.]

It's raining. [obviously.] Probably better to stay inside...

Edited 2012-10-07 04:11 (UTC)

[Is that what she does?]

Yeah. [He looks over towards the balcony.] Probably.

[He's tried something like that before, some time ago. Tried to get rid of everything. Push all his emotions out through whatever means he could find. When the grief was gone, anger quickly took its place, and when he got rid of that, got rid of everything else, the hatred he felt every time he saw even the ghost of his reflection still remained. He never could get rid of that. And the other emotions would return eventually—usually sooner rather than later. Nothing stayed gone forever. He never could stop feeling.

He wishes it were that easy.

That he could bury to forget, shove all the bad memories he has into the deepest recesses of his of his mind like they didn't exist. He had tried that, too, with the pills, tried to suppress every inch of who he was, but he can't forget either.

But he knows she's only trying to help. Helping him in the only way she knows how. He knows that but—

He sighs, brushing away a few strands of red hair as he leans down and kisses her on the forehead.

It's as much of an "I'm sorry," as anything. He's sorry for being difficult. Sorry things have to be complicated with him. But that's how they are, and he doesn't know if or when that's ever going to change. He knows that everyone wants him to move on, and that it's frustrating to see someone like him apparently not listen. Maybe they think it's out of stubbornness, out of an unwillingness to let go, or something else—but in the end it isn't that. It isn't that he's unwilling to let go, it's that he can't, not right now, and that's something people would have a tough time understanding. And that's fine. Shinjiro doesn't want them to. He doesn't want anyone to have to know what it feels like to take someone's life away.]

You know that you never have to stay.

[He'd watch all the animal films in the world if it would make things better. It's not a magical cure. But he supposes he does feel lighter somehow. A little. He guesses that's different. But it might not be because of that. Maybe it's the knowledge that the kid doesn't hate him anymore, that he's been able to get past the one thing that's consumed him for the last two years of his life. And maybe now that Amada has, he won't think about killing himself anymore.

Or maybe it's because he's not alone this time around. He always kept to himself before, and while he'll never see that as a mistake, it's different nonetheless. And something's different from before. All the negative emotions are still there, but this time there's a little bit happiness alongside it, living amongst everything else. It's a tiny thing, sitting defiantly on the other side of the scales like it's not supposed to be there. And, hell, maybe it's not, but it's there anyway. It doesn't weigh much, doesn't make the scales dip one way or another, but its lightness belies how much it's worth. It's like comparing a diamond to a boulder. A diamond might not move the scales—because, in the end, that's something he'll have to do himself—but it doesn't mean it's not worth something.

And maybe one day he'll look over and realize how much.]

Edited 2012-10-08 05:44 (UTC)

[She knows he has problems. She knew that long before she'd even gotten involved with him. Before she'd heard the story about Ken's mother. She even realizes she can't ever solve everything for him even if she wants to. But that's not what social links are about, anyway. They're about giving support to someone while they figure things out for themselves.]

It's never been about having, Shinji.

[The pause between the words and his name is very brief... but the name in itself gives the whole sentence its meaning.

When it comes down to it, he's really not a senpai she puts on a pedestal, or a project she needs to fix. He's a boy that, very probably irrationally, she's fallen in love with. And all flaws become null in the face of love.]

[He hears her say his name.

And there's a small moment in time in which he waits for her to finish it, waits for the honorific to be attached to the rest of his name, but it never does. He can only stare down at her then when realizes that nothing else is going to follow. No one has called him that except Aki—and Miki now, he supposes, but she had called him that when they were little, and now she's just making up for lost time. Minako never had, and it's strange to hear her say it without even an inch of habitual formality.

His smile is small, but it's a soft one.

She's such a strange girl.

Of course everything about this is irrational. It's not so much of a probability as it is a dead certainty. He knows that because she was someone he was never supposed to have, even for a brief minute in time, because in the end, it wasn't really fair.

But that was never about having either.]

Then don't go.

[Despite of what some of him might think or say.]

There's nowhere to escape to anyway.

[Like she said, it's raining. Obviously. There's no place for him or her to run to.]

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